Some While Ago: As the beast continues to snarl the young man looks in terror as the Doctor emerges from behind the creature brandishing a pork chop. He tells the young man to run as he tempts the creature with the meat and as the man retreats Rose appears from behind him brandishing a blue bucket of liquid. She throws it at the creature but the Doctor tells her she’s made it worse, she’s picked up the wrong bucket.
As the beast snarls it begins to chase Rose down one of the three other corridors crossing the one the young man is still standing in. The Doctor disappears behind the door and soon a chase is in progress; like something out of a cartoon as the Doctor, Rose and the beast chase each other down each of the three parallel corridors, Rose eventually picking up the correct colour bucket and pursuing the beast.
Suddenly the Doctor stops running and looks at the young man, as if recognising him. The young man runs, finding himself outside the warehouse leaning on a wall to catch his breath. He listens as the sound of the TARDIS whirs around him, and he looks to see where it comes from but to no avail.
Present day: The young man talks about the alien sound, describing it as the most beautiful sound in the universe. He continues to talk into his camera, telling it that it was not the first time he had met the Doctor, and certainly not the last. He explains that he is making a video to tell the story of his encounters with alien life forms and then leans forward, saying that it will be scary.
He sheepishly explains he does not have a remote zoom for his camera so has to lean forward to achieve the effect; then goes on to explain that the video will not just be him sitting in front of a camera.
A while earlier: The young man is standing in front of a house, introducing his camera operator Ursula Blake. She waves then he continues his story, explaining that the house used to be his family home, where he first met the Doctor…
Flashing back to the mans earliest memory he narrates; explaining that he was only very young and in the middle of the night he had gone downstairs, and sure enough standing in his living room, a dark look on his face, is the Doctor. He turns to look at the young boy and the memory fades.
Back in the street, the young man looks at the house as from behind the camera; Ursula asked what happened that night, why the Doctor was there. He admits that he doesn’t know, for all those years he still does not know. He turns from looking at the house to looking at the camera and motions for his friend to stop filming.
Present day: The young man introduces himself as Elton, not to be confused with Elton John, and explains that he works as a transport manager for a small haulage firm, life was normal until two years ago.
Two years ago: As Elton narrates the goings on he walks down a high street in London, past an outdoor shop. As he passes, the shop window dummies spring to life and smash through the glass before them. Panic ensures as the dummies begin attacking the pedestrians on the street, leaving Elton to flee.
Present day: Elton notes that obviously he survived the attack and then moves on to narrate an event twelve months after when he had gone to West London to buy a new suit.
One year ago: Again Elton is walking along a street and as he goes her hears a soaring noise above him. Like many others around him he looks up and watches as a giant space ship hurtles over them, flying over towards the Houses of Parliament where it crashes into Big Ben.
Present day: Elton, still staring deep into the camera explains that his encounters with extra-terrestrial life was not over yet, because another incident occurred on Christmas Day.
Christmas, the year before: As Elton lays asleep in bed the window of his bedroom smashes into pieces. He opens his eyes and looks around. As the present day Elton explains he had to invent a rudimentary pulley system to reach his boots to cross the floor in, the Elton from Christmas reaches the window and stares outside; where a giant space ship, like a floating lump of rock, looms overhead in the sky.
Present day: Elton explains that that day was the start of it all; it was how he met Ursula, a man named Victor Kennedy, a woman named Jackie Tyler and how he finally met the Doctor.
The next day Elton addresses the camera again and tries to explain that space ships and aliens aren’t his whole life. He admits he likes football, having a drink, Spain and most of all the Electric Light Orchestra. Moments later the young man is dancing around to the songs of his favourite band.
Another while later: Elton continues his story of the alien ship that appeared on Christmas day, and how the Internet went into meltdown with all of the websites about it. He then explains that he found a Blog by Ursula Blake, which contained a picture of the Doctor, the same man he had seen so many years ago but taken only a few weeks ago, and he hadn’t aged a bit.
Some time ago: Ursula and Elton sit on a park bench where the young woman tells her new friend that the man is called the Doctor, and that is all anyone knows. She remembers the celebrations on Christmas day after the laser beam destroyed the spaceship.
She goes on to talk about a man called Mr Skinner and when Elton asks who he is she explains that there are a few people studying the Doctor. Elton tells her of his encounter with the man during his own childhood and Ursula predicts the end of his story, being that the Doctor has not changed since that time.
Present day: Elton explains that there was a select little group of people who met once a week to share their stories of the Doctor; namely Mr Skinner, who in a flashback talks of what the Doctor means as a person; Bridget, who talks of how there are many Doctors who come and go but throughout time the one lasting symbol of him is a mysterious blue box; and Bliss, who reveals an obscure sculpture of what the Doctor spiritually means.
Months earlier: The group are sitting in their meeting place, a basement of an old library, and begin to talk of needing a name. Elton suggests “London Investigation ‘n’ Detective Agency”, or L.I.N.D.A for short the group chatter in approval and Ursula asks Elton if he came up with it on the spot but he admits he has wanted to use it for years.
As Elton narrates he remembers how the group began to evolve, as Bridget began to start cooking for the group, Mr Skinner started reading extracts from his own novel and they all began sharing secrets; Bridget revealing the story of her lost daughter, who turned to drugs and disappeared in London.
In another old meeting Bliss plays the guitar, singing a solemn song. Some time after she sits and sings with Ursula and eventually the groups have started their own band, a tribute to E.L.O. As they sing the lights blacken out and as Mr Skinner warns them not to touch the cables, the lift leading down to the basement arrives and a portly man, wearing a wide brimmed hat walks out. He calls for lights and they flick back on as Elton narrates that this was the turning point, the end of the golden age. This was Victor Kennedy.
The man, carrying an ornate cane tells the bewildered group he has longed to meet them, but when Mr Skinner moves to shake his hand the visitor ushers him away, explaining he has “egg-zeema”. Elton asks if he means “eczema” and he tells him that his condition is much worse, he blisters to the touch. He ushers them all back and Elton asks who the man is. He introduces himself as their salvation.
Moments later Kennedy sits with a laptop on his knees, the others looking over his shoulders as they look at a video of the Doctor. The enigmatic Victor tells the group that it has forgotten its purpose of finding the Doctor; he is still out there. He tells the others to stand back encase they touch him and they shuffle backwards as they continues to watch the video. The video cuts out but Kennedy turns up the sound and the whir of the TARDIS groans into life, and Elton’s memory jogs. Ursula asks what is wrong but Kennedy realises Elton has heard it before. He asks where and the young man explains that he had once forgotten but now he remembers, it was that sound that made him get up and go downstairs all those years ago, the night he first saw the Doctor. He asks what the sound means and Kennedy tells him; it is the sound of the Doctor’s space ship.
Kennedy snaps into action and tells the group that using the Torchwood files it is possible to build up a fuller profile of the Doctor. He hands out files to each of the group members and explains he has set them all a series of tasks to achieve by the meeting next week; making them one-step closer to catching the Doctor.
The group all get up to leave but Victor asks Bliss to stay behind for a word in private. Outside the building the others depart, lamenting that although it is work, at least their tasks will help them achieve their dream of finding the Doctor. As they go they are unaware of a piercing scream form inside their meeting place.
Present day Elton continues to narrate, explaining how the group was suddenly working for Victor Kennedy, and in a flashback he remembers a meeting where each of the members sits at their own desk, working as if at school. Kennedy sits at a grand desk before them, surrounded by grand bookcases and his laptop before him. Elton gingerly raises his hand and asks where Bliss has gone. Kennedy tells them she is getting married, and will not be returning before telling him to get back to work.
In another meeting Mr Skinner announces his findings, a police box has been located in Woolwich, and as Kennedy orders them to go and find it the present Day Elton explains that this is where he began his story, with the alien creature and the Doctor and Rose in the warehouse.
Some time after this encounter Elton sits at his desk in a meeting and Kennedy yells at him for letting the Doctor get away. He prepares to hit the young man but as Elton points out he cannot because of his skin condition. He instead reaches for his ornate cane and prepares to strike but Ursula stands up, and tells him that if he strikes her friend she will strike back at him.
Kennedy notes that Ursula is the most likely to fight back before announcing the group will change tack in their search for the Doctor. And will focus on finding the travellers companion first. Using a slide projection of photos of Rose the man explains that the Torchwood files of the girl are strangely lacking in information, due to something known as the Bad Wolf virus.
He calls on Elton to tell them more from his first hand experience with the girl and he confirms that her accent originates from London. He tells the group to take to the streets with photographs of the girl to find out more. Bridget points out that London is a big place to search, as she knows from looking for her lost daughter. Kennedy stops her, explaining he does not like to be touched literally or metaphorically. He hands the groups photos and soon Elton is on the streets of London, looking for one girl in a million faces of one of the most substantial capital cities of the world.
Almost immediately after starting his search Elton finds an old woman who confirms that the girl’s name is Rose Tyler. She goes onto tell him that she lives with her mother Jackie and then tells him their address. She comments that they are a nice family, if not a bit odd.
Elton rushes to find the address given to him but stops in his tracks when he sees an older woman called Jackie talking to a friend of hers about a pub quiz before walking into a launderette. He realises this is his opportunity to find out more, and takes off one of his shirts, before making his way inside.
As the present day Elton narrates; explaining that Victor Kennedy’s classes covered the basics of surveillance and espionage. Step one is to engage the target and find a way of starting a conversation. In the flashback Elton places his shirt in a washing machine and as he thinks of what to do Jackie approaches him, asking for him to change some money for her to use in her machine. He obliges and she returns to her work as Elton considers the nest step; finding out the target’s name without arousing suspicion.
Jackie, on her own accord introduces herself and Elton does the same, leaving her to ponder that you don’t see many people called Elton, except perhaps Elton John. Elton return to his machine and thinks of step three; ingratiate yourself with some joke or humorous device. Again before he can conduct the act himself Jackie pipes up, cheerily noting that despite the fact they have just met she is technically flashing him her knickers, which she loads into the washing machine before her.
Elton thinks of step four; find some way to integrate yourself into the target’s household. Once again Jackie pipes up, explaining that the only reason she is in the launderette is because her washing machine at home is broken. She asks if he is any good at fixing things and no sooner has she asked, he is in her flat fixing the machine, finding the problem is a burst fuse.
She thanks him and explains she used to have a friend called Mickey, who used to help her out with problems like this but he’s no longer around. Elton offers his services whenever needed and as Jackie makes them both a cup of tea Elton makes his way to the living room, where he looks at pictures of Rose on the mantelpiece. From the kitchen Jackie explains that she is on her own these days, her daughter has gone travelling.
Elton takes the chance to ask of her daughter’s name and Jackie confirms that it is Rose. He comments that it is a nice name before asking where she has gone travelling. Jackie explains that she is all over the place, and although she does have a mobile phone she doesn’t get a phone call as much as she’d like. She confirms that she’s just travelling with her mates before Elton tells her that if he were Jackie’s child, and she had made him a nice cup of tea as the one he is drinking now he would never want to stray too far from home.
Some time later, in the meeting place Kennedy congratulates Elton on his work in finding and getting to know Jackie. He bluffs that he had to work hard to get the information because she keeps everything very close to her chest and as Ursula comments that she has one hell of a chest, Victor tells them that their homework this week is to each think of a plan of attack to fulfil the next step of infiltration, step five.
As the group prepares to leave Victor asks Bridget to stay behind for a quiet word but she tells him that Mr Skinner is giving her a lift to the station. Kennedy tells her that he can drop her off and after being kissed by Mr Skinner on the cheek she bids him goodbye as he joins Ursula and Elton in the departing lift.
Outside Ursula and Elton talk to Mr Skinner about his loving relationship with Bridget and as he explains they will have to see what happens, the three friends walk away unaware of the piercing scream emanating from the building they have just left.
Over the next days and weeks Elton continues to complete dozens of odd jobs for Jackie, as his present day narrator comments how it was odd such a small flat needed so many jobs doing to it as if it were jinxed.
One night he is fixing another fuse and comments how odd it is all the fuses in the flat keep blowing and he theorises it might be receiving power surges from a nearby substation. He turns from his completed work to see Jackie, dressed in a rather short skirt, waiting for him, holding a glass of wine. He explains he shouldn’t really drink as his car is outside but Jackie tells him he could call a taxi or find somewhere else to stay…
They toast their glasses and drink deeply. Elton asks if the wine is French and Jackie tells him it might be. Elton asks if Rose has sent it from her travels but Jackie practically ignores the question, telling him that Rose will not be returning to the flat tonight…
Struggling for something to say Elton comments the music playing in the background is nice and Jackie tells him it is ‘Il Divo’. She walks towards him and he is backed against the wall. She asks him what he meant about the substation and as he blunders his way through an explanation she tells him to take his jacket off due to the heat. He declines and she spills some wine of his shirt. She hollowly apologises and offers to put it in the wash if he takes it off. He maintains that it is fine until she spills even more wine on the garment.
She insists that it is ruined and soon Elton is in the bathroom, contemplating the ultimate step five in getting to know Jackie more. He washes and prepares himself and soon, his shirt removed he returns to the living room explaining it is about to get hotter.
However when he arrives he finds a solemn Jackie talking on the phone. She tells the person on the other end she will see them soon then explains it was Rose. She sees Elton with his shirt off and apologises, explaining she was just being stupid. Elton asks if Rose is all right and his she explains that she is just so far away; she doesn’t know where she is or what she might be doing and now she is left to go mad. She tells Elton to put his shirt back on and he asks where Rose is. She tells him it doesn’t matter then apologises and explains that he had better go.
He prepares to but then thinks. In his present day narration Elton explains that he realised that Rose was the not important at the moment, something else was. In his flashback he tells Jackie he will get his shirt back on but then he will go and fetch them a pizza, because it looks like she needs cheering up. He tells her they will enjoy themselves for the night as mates, not lovers. He asks her to say yea sand she does so.
Some time later he is walking alone brandishing the pizza and in his narration explain that many things were beginning to make sense. He did like Jackie but there was someone else he liked a whole lot more; Ursula.
As Elton continues his walk back through the car park he is confronted by Jackie who, brandishing his coat, looks at him almost coldly. He tells her they must get inside before the food gets cold, but she maintains her deep stare, and reveals that she looked through his coat, thinking that for once in her life she would pay for the meal and put some money in his wallet to stop him refusing but when she did she found something. She removes one arm from within the coat and takes out the picture of Rose he was given by Kennedy.
He tells her that he was not looking for Rose; he was looking for the Doctor. Jackie bitterly tells him that she figured that out; it was never about her. Elton protests but she does not let him continue, instead telling him about those who get left behind. She admits that it is hard to be left alone and that is what you become because of it; hard. She tells him, almost aggressively, that she will never let Rose down and she will protect both of them until the end of her life.
She tells him that no matter what he wants, he should back off and after he claims that he just wanted to meet the Doctor, she simply states that she thought he liked her. He claims that he does but she does not back down and throws him his coat, telling him to get out and leave her alone. She walks off, almost in tears and Elton is left alone with his thoughts.
Some time later, during another L.I.N.D.A meeting Elton angrily tells the others, in particular Victor Kennedy, that Jackie was right; they were just using her. Kennedy violently tells him that he knew he couldn’t be trusted, he blew his own cover. He insults him but Elton is not listening. Raising his voice he tells him that it has all gone wrong from the group, ever since he came along.
He remembers how the group members always used to meet up to have a laugh, they were friends and he comments that it is no wonder Bliss and Bridget left the group. Mr Skinner chips in, explaining he has bee phoning and re-phoning Bridget but he is getting no reply. Elton takes over again and tells Victor he is on his own. He is leaving and tells Mr Skinner that he will do the same. He turns to Ursula and tells her that she will come with him and together they will have a Chinese meal, together. She tells him that she would love to, as Kennedy stands up and tells them that they can’t leave, they will never find the Doctor or discover what he was doing in Elton’s house all those years ago.
Elton admits he will never know then tells Ursula to get her stuff and asks Mr Skinner if he will join them; not in coming to the Chinese meal, just in walking out. He tells him that he is prepared to come and as he and Ursula prepare to leave Elton bids Mr Kennedy good luck and goodbye. Desperately Kennedy asks Mr Skinner to stay behind, explaining he has phone numbers for Bridget, which together they can use to track her down.
Mr Skinner tells the departing Ursula and Elton that the proposition is more like the old team spirit and decides to stay. Ursula wishes him luck in his search and Elton promises to email him as the two of them get in the lift and leave, as Mr Skinner moves towards Victor.
Outside the two friends walk away talking of their favourite food as another piercing scream rings out from the building behind them. Ursula realises that she has left her mobile phone behinds and is forced to turn back. Elton notes that it is a bit diminutive of his idea of a big walkout but nevertheless, together they walk back towards the basement.
They arrive and push aside the grate covering the lift door as Ursula explains why they have returned. From behind a newspaper Victor’s now queasy voice tells them to find the mobile phone and go. The two friends advance towards him as Ursula asks where Mr Skinner has gone and Victor tells them that he has gone to the toilet. Elton points out that there is no toilet in the basement, the group has to use the one in the pub on the street corner.
Kennedy splutters that that is where Mr Skinner has gone but as he speaks Mr Skinner’s muffled voice calls out for help. Elton asks what the noise was but Kennedy, whose usual posh accent is cracking into a more northern lilt, tells them it was nothing. Again the voice calls out and Victor tells it to shut up and as Elton realises it is their old friend calling out Ursula notes Victor’s hands; long yellow extremities with large claw-like fingers.
Kennedy tells them to look at the rest of him and as he puts down his newspaper he reveals himself; a squat portly alien with a shock of black hair on the top of his head reaching down his back. He tells them they have grappled with aliens but now they must meet the real article. Elton addresses him as a thing but Kennedy defiantly tells him it is his true form, better than the human disguise he has been forced to adopt.
Again Mr Skinner speaks and the two human friends see the source of the noise; the remains of Mr Skinner’s face lies in the stomach of the alien before them, calling out for help. Elton asks what he has done to him and he explains that he has absorbed him.
Suddenly, Bridget’s voice rings out, her face also stuck to the creature’s body only this time on his back. As the two lovers call out to each other Elton asks where Bliss has gone. Kennedy lifts up his rear from the chair he is seated on and amidst the rumble of flatulence Bliss’s face tells them they don’t want to know, before being squashed back onto the chair as the creature takes it’s seat again.
Elton notes the creature is some sort of Abzobathon, and Abzorbaling…an Abzorbaloff. The creature warms to the last name and tells them he likes it. Ursula cuts in and orders him to le the others go but her tries to reason with her, explaining they taste so sweet. He goes on to marvel at the prospect of absorbing the Doctor and wonders what he will taste like; all of his experience and knowledge, and if he has to absorb Jackie Tyler to get to him then so be it.
Elton warns him not to dare trying as Ursula grabs Kennedy’s cane and tells him to give the others back, or he will beat them out of him. The creature childishly asks her not to hit him, telling her he is such a slow and clumsy beast. She begins to pity him and releases her tight grip on the cane, asking more solemnly that he give them back.
Suddenly he throws his arm forward and grabs her arm, telling her that it only takes one touch. As Ursula whimpers her hand and arm begin to merge with the Abzorbaloff. Mr Skinner and Bridget call out in protest as Elton rushes forward, telling him to leave her alone. Ursula tells him not to touch her or he too will be absorbed. He looks on tearfully as the creature scoffs at the idea he thought once that Ursula was the most likely to fight back.
Suddenly Ursula is sucked into the Abzorbaloff’s hand and as it shivers, her face begins to mould into the middle of its chest he notes how she tastes of chicken. Elton protests that it is not fair and then begs his once boss to let her go. He tells him he can’t, once she has been absorbed the process cannot be reversed. Ursula, whose face sits fully-formed in the creature’s chest, explains to her friend that now she has been absorbed she can read the Abzorbaloff’s thoughts; Elton is next to be absorbed. She tells him to get out, now he has seen the creature in its true form it cannot let him go.
She explains it is to late for her and that her friend must run for safety. Bridget and the others join in Ursula’s plea as suddenly, the Abzorbaloff jumps from behind its desk and, clutching its cane, runs for Elton. The young human flees out of the building and into the streets, but his predator is not far away.
As he makes his way blindly through the network of streets the Abzorbaloff pursues him, gargling and laughing to itself. Suddenly the young man turns into an alleyway and finds himself trapped. As the alien creature approaches him he falls to his knees and explains there is no point, even if he survived there would be nowhere for him t go. Everything he ever wanted has been absorbed.
Ursula tells him not to say such things but he tells her it is all true. The Abzorbaloff tells him that he should join him and the others; have everlasting peace and become at one with them.
As Elton prepares to be absorbed a screeching whir rings out around them and as a gust of wind appears as if from nowhere the TARDIS fades into view behind them. The Doctor, stone face, steps outside and walks forward. He looks at Elton and tells him that someone wants a word with him. The ship door opens again and an un-phased looking Rose storms out and approaches the kneeling man, telling him he upset her mother.
Elton points out that there is a great big absorbing creature from outer-space standing next to them, and Rose is having a go at him. Rose tells him that no-one is allowed to upset her mum but before she can continue the Abzorbaloff marvels at the presence of the Doctor, the greatest feast of all.
The Time Lord, as Elton did before, stabs at naming the creature before him, calling him an Abzorbatrix…an Abzorbaclob…an Abzorbaloff. The creature points out that he prefers the latter title, as Rose mutters in the Doctor’s ear that the being looks slightly like a Slitheen. The Time Lord asks the creature if it comes from the Slitheen home-world of Raxicoricofalapatorius. The creature condemns all those from the planet and tells them he is not; he was born on their twin planet.
The Doctor asks what the twin planet of Raxicricofalapatorius could be and the creature tells him: Klom. As the Doctor takes this in the creature continues; explaining that he shall now return there victorious now that he can possess the Doctor’s travelling machine. The Doctor asks what makes him so sure he will hand the TARDIS over and the Abzorbaloff explains that he will surrender himself or Elton dies.
He explains that he has read up on the Time Lord; noting how he is always so passionate and so sweet; he would never let an innocent man die. He tells him once more that he will be absorbed unless the Doctor hands himself over and the Time Lord ponders the description has been given of him. He agrees with the sentiments of passionate or sweet but tells the creature to never mistake those traits for niceness. He begins to turn away after explaining the alien can do what he likes.
Again the creature threatens to absorb Elton and again the Doctor tells him to continue but as the creature reaches out to trigger the process the Time Lord explains that the others might have something to say about the matter. Ursula realises that they must not let their captor continue to take Elton and calls to Mr Skinner and Bridget, telling them to pull. They each struggle to pull themselves outwards from the flabby skin engulfing them and as the Doctor and Rose look on the creature squirms and drops its cane.
Ursula calls for Elton to break the stick and he does so, snapping it in half over his knee. The ornate handle at the top opens and a glowing light emanates from the opening. The Abzorbaloff curses the human for breaking the stick and as he screeches in agony he begins to liquidise, and collapses in a pool of slime into the pavement.
Elton asks what has happened and the Doctor explains that the cane created a limitation field and now it is broken the creature cannot stop; the absorber is being absorbed by the Earth. As he talks one of the paving slabs begins to morph as if something is pushing to escape. Elton leans forward and realises it is Ursula. Her half-formed face says goodbye to him, before fading back into the ground.
As Elton looks on sadly Rose asks who the girl was and he tells her her name. The young time traveller walks forward and crouches on the ground next to him; comforting him now that he is alone. The Doctor looks on as Elton begins to sob.
Sometime later, as the present day Elton explains that the story was not yet over, the Doctor, Rose and Elton sit on the steps of a building as the Time Lord remembers the night Elton first met him. He explains that a living shadow creature had found its way into his house; having escaped from the howling walls. He managed to stop it but he wasn’t in time to save ‘her’.
In Elton’s memory of the night in his childhood his recollections extend and after looking at the Doctor standing in his living room, he looks to the floor to see a woman lying dead. It was the night his mother died.
As the Elton from the present day sobs he remembers his mother and the happy times they had together. He sits alone in his room as his final memory strikes him; walking in the park with his mum as a little child, before stopping in his steps. His mother bends down and says goodbye, before walking off into the distance…
Back in the present day Elton explains that we forget such things because he must. Some days later he brings his story to a close, explaining how he has had the most terrible and most brilliant things happen in his life; even if they are all the same thing and he cannot tell the difference. He remembers how Stephen King one said “salvation and damnation are the same thing”. He explains he never knew what it meant until now, and although the Doctor was wonderful he had such a special time being in L.I.N.D.A. with his friends, and yet it is not the Doctor’s fault it all came to an end; maybe that’s what happens when you touch the Doctor, even for a second. He admits that he often thinks of Rose and Jackie, wondering how long it will be before they have to pay the price.
From behind the camera Ursula tells him to stop being so miserable, he still has her. He explains to the camera that before he left him the Doctor told him he could do one last thing with his magic wand.
Back in the street, many weeks ago the Doctor kneels over the paving slab where Ursula said her goodbyes and as he talks to himself, explaining he is trying to key into the absorption matrix and separate the last victim, despite it being too late for total reconstruction he can still help. As a gurgling sound issues from the ground the Time Lord stands up and calls out; “Elton…fetch a spade”.
Back in the present day Elton explains the Doctor had saved him one last time. He reaches forward, behind the camera and picks up the paving slab on which is Ursula’s face. She explains that it could be worse, at least she will never age and it is a very peaceful life. Elton explains that it is a relationship of sorts, they manage to get by; he even gets a bit of a love life. Ursula tells him not to go into that and he instead explains that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about his girlfriend, he will always love her.
As Elton prepares to close his video diary he activates the remote zoom he has now brought and the camera zooms in to focus on his face. He laments that when you are a child everyone tells you to grow up, get a job, get married, buy a house and have your own child. He explains that the truth is the world is so much stranger than that; so much darker, so much madder, and so much better…