Comic Relief Doctor
The Curse of Fatal Death
Executive Producer
Richard Curtis

Sue Vertue

Music Consultant
Mark Ayres

Written by Stephen Moffat
Directed by John Henderson

Rowan Atkinson, Richard E. Grant, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Grant, Joanna Lumley (The Doctor);
Julia Sawalha (Emma), Jonathan Pryce (The Master), Roy Skelton (Dalek Voices).

The Doctor agrees to meet his old foe the Master on the planet Tersurus. But when the Doctor arrives, assisted by the lovely Emma, the Master has prepared a series of hideous tortures for them. Horrible tortures. Evil, nasty and decidedly unpleasant tortures...

As the Doctor and the Master attempt to outwit one another a bizarre odyssey unfolds, featuring treacherous trapdoors, bottom burps, foul-smelling sewers and the infamous sofa of reasonable comfort. When the Daleks become involved, a series of mishaps trigger the Doctor's regeneration cycle, leading to the biggest and most exciting adventure of his lives!

Original Broadcast (UK)
Part One			12th March, 1999			?
Part Two			12th March, 1999			?
Part Three			12th March, 1999			?
Part Four			12th March, 1999			?
  • This four-part mini story was shown as part of the Comic Relief telethon.
  • Released on video with extra material, including a thirty-minute behind-the-scenes documentary as well as a variety of other Doctor Who parodies aired on television over the years.
    • PAL - BBC Video 6889
    • NTSC - Warner Video E1496
  • Doctor Who Magazine Archive: Issue #328.
Part One
(drn: 5'40")

The Master is plotting against the Doctor, yapping about after centuries of conflict between them, the Doctor's certain death is now certain. The Master has set a deadly trap in the Doctor's own TARDIS. The Doctor lets the Master know that he has heard these plans. The Master switches off the video but the Doctor overhears the next plan: some evil death on Planet Zeston Four. The Doctor calmly tells him he has overheard that, too. Anyway, he wants to tell the Master something on the planet Terserus. On this planet, the life forms communicate by modulating gastric emissions.

There, the Doctor tells his companion Emma that he is retiring and will marry her. The Master welcomes the duo to the Spikes of Doom. The Doctor fakes a worried look but he has gone back in time and bribed the architect of this trap and welcomes the Master to the Sofa of Reasonable Comfort which he and Emma are sitting in, it springing from the trap. The Doctor looks worried again as the Master tells them he bribed the architect one more time by giving him a dinner...there is a trap door directly beneath the Doctor and Emma... which leads to the 500 foot drop into the sewers of Terserus.

Part Two
(drn: 4'57")

The Master is the one who falls into a trap door. The Doctor anticipated the Master's bribe and went back to the architect in the past and gave him dinner first. The Doctor is very calm about all of it. The pair are about to leave but the Master, older, after 312 years of climbing out, confronts them. The Doctor calmly asks him if he is going to his terrible revenge thingie. The Daleks are with the Master now; the only ones who would work with him since they do not have noses and the Master has spent 312 years in the sewers. The Daleks have also augmented the Master's body with superior Dalek technology -- a sucker in his hand which Emma suspects the Master doesn't know how to use.

The Master comes at the Doctor, "Die, Doctor, die!" The Doctor moves aside with Emma so that the Master falls into the sewer again. The Doctor winks. The Master, older and with longer white hair, returns 624 years later after climbing out again. The Doctor and Emma run and the Daleks and the Master give chase. A Dalek inadvertently knocks the Master back into the sewer! It is 936 years later and the Master uses a walker, "Wait for me! Wait for me!"

The Doctor and Emma run and find the corridors all look the same. The Doctor rushes her toward two large doors, "We'll be safe in here." They open the doors to find hundreds of Daleks...

Part Three
(drn: 5'02")

The Doctor and Emma are tied up and the Doctor keeps telling a questioning Emma, "I'll explain later." She wanted to know why the Daleks didn't kill him... why they changed their mind and tied him up instead. The Master is back again and rejuvenated to his younger looking self and, the Doctor notices, affixed with breasts...Daleks bumps which detect orin charged emissions and have locator beam locators. He is also helping the Daleks perfect the zetronic beam and they will use it which will give them the whole universe in five minutes... the Doctor calmly explains. Emma asks the Daleks why they have chairs on a Dalek ship. They tell her they will explain later.

The Daleks order the Master to set the Zetronic beam on and he says, "I obey." A Dalek whispers to the Doctor that the Master will be eliminated after his use. The Doctor breaks wind to give the Master this info without the Daleks knowing about it. It works. The Daleks hit the Zatronic device controller when they fire at the Master. They also seem to hit the Doctor, who falls onto his back. Only the Doctor can stop the controller as it will now implode as well as explode. The Master explains regeneration to Emma as the Doctor begins to regenerate... bright lights firing at Emma and the Master...

Part Four
(drn: 7'15")

The next Doctor explains he is sorry but he is cute, handsome, and a lick in the mirror; conceited. He calls the Master the camp one and says, "Nice tits."   The Daleks ask for the Doctor's help. He thinks this is a great way to start out by saving his oldest foes. He kisses Emma, who can live with this new handsome persona. He tells her to get champagne out of the TARDIS. He thinks he will particularly good at rewiring. He isn't. A massive shock and blast floors him.

The Doctor regenerates into a shy Doctor: he is shy of girls and won't look at Emma and won't face her eye to eye. He skips about a bit and looks older with less hair. He will not stare the Master eye to eye. He goes off into another room and a there is a blast. A new Doctor emerges from after this blast. He should have unplugged first. Emma looks pleased at this very handsome Doctor. Dual energy is blasted around the room and floors the Doctor, hitting him in the back. He falls. The Master tells Emma that he cannot regenerate now...the pure zatronic energy robbed him of his regenerative powers. The Doctor dies saying, "I'll explain..."

Emma tells the Doctor he cannot die -- he's too brave, too kind, too silly. He is like Father Christmas, The Wizard of Oz, Scooby Doo. The Master calls him the best and bravest of all foes. The Master renounces evil. So do the Daleks who will honor the Doctor, their former foe. Emma says the Doctor has never been cruel and was never cowardly. It will never be safe to be scared again.

Against all known science, the Doctor regenerates again. Emma postulates that perhaps the universe cannot bear to be without the Doctor either. Emma tells this new Doctor that the things on her chest are not Dalek bumps but actual breasts. This Doctor is a blond woman! Emma tells this female Doctor, "You're not the man I fell in love with." This Doctor is very energetic and optimistic. She takes out her sonic screwdriver which she notices has three settings. Emma wishes she would not fool with it. Emma seems to run off. The Master thinks the Doctor is gorgeous. The Doctor seems to fancy the Master. The pair of them leave the ship arm in arm!

Source: Charles Mento
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