The 10th Doctor tells Rose they have landed on the planet Shantella Prime. Rose looks out the open doors and a car passes by and water gets splashed up at her. She wonders why things like that still happen to him after operating the TARDIS as long as he told her he has. He claims to know every button and switch on the console. She asks him what one does and he presses it. It is a wraparound hologram switch and the salesbrochure said the would be transported to a million destinations. Another switch and they are entered into a galactic lotto drawing as viewed on the scanner. The Doctor loses. Rose hits a switch and they shrink. The Doctor's swapped a stereo for a micromodulator switch. They have to get back up to it or remain tiny forever. The Doctor can't recall if he saw it advertised in Intergalactic House Doctor or De Junk Your Tardis. It is for storage. Rose admits to the Doctor she won a medal once for gymnastics. They get up on the console. Rose slips on machine oil and falls off the console. The oil spilled earlier when the Doctor oiled the gravity gauge. He tosses Rose a wie. Inside the console, the Doctor gets caught in a cobweb. Rose avoids hot switches inside the console but gets outside and pushes the switch back and they grow to their normal size.

Time Placement: Rose is wearing her outfit from New Earth, and the Doctor uses the in-flight stereo in Tooth and Claw, suggesting he has had time to move switches around.

Indonesia in 1883, the Doctor and Rose are tied to stakes by peaceful people. Who don't like outsiders much. The Doctor wanted to show Rose some fireworks. A native asks if they come to steal their land or defile the mountain like the men of flame. The Doctor throws a smoke bomb to knock the natives away and he and Rose get free. The Doctor tells Rose he learned how to get out of knots from a bloke called Baden Powell about twenty years from now! They venture behind a waterfall to find the men of flame. Bright orange, horns, ridgey things on backs: Chalderans, silicone based with a high body temperature. The pair are captured and hung upside down inside the volcano. Miners, these aliens steal lava from volcanos and leave the planet totally dead. They are idiots and usually mess up. He winds the aliens up and they argue. Set on auto, the sonic screwdriver gets Rose and the Doctor free. A giant drilling machine drills while Rose and the Doctor are chased. Cold water, extreme heat and stupidity can kill these aliens. The ones chasing the pair are killed under the waterfall. It is nearly time for a loud bang! Everything starts to shake.

The Doctor gave coordinates to the Chalderans to go into the heart of Krakatoa, which erupts. He and Rose are in the TARDIS when it blows up. The Doctor now wants to go see the mating dance. The Doctor now wants to go see the mating dance of the fire dragons of Ket-El or maybe a supernova near Deneb Three. Rose suggests just breaking out a couple of sparklers.

Rose and the Doctor are on an empty space station this side of Jupiter, where it is supposed to be as busy as Copacabana Beach on Free Ice Cream Day. Only it's empty. Disinfectodroids are chasing them. The Doctor looks for his sonic screwdriver in his pockets and does a check of what else is in there: apple core, used bus tickets, breath freshners, Belgian Phrasebook, bits of jigsaw and a piece of sky...hairy lollipop, a glove, water pistol, cuddly toy. The robots disinfect all that he threw out. Rose calls him rubbish but he says, "No, I'm fantastic." It was his plan to distract them. They run a four minute mile around the station and Rose asks the Doctor if he wants a medal but he's already got one. Near as I can figure, the Doctor calls the TARDIS junk and hangs around it until the robots disinfect it and drag it through some machine. The robots do not kill people but all known germs as the mites and alien bacteria on the TARDIS. A space plague arrived made them quarantine the station. The Doctor thinks the robots may be corrupted by the virus. They vacum up the Doctor and Rose.

The pair end up in a junk yard on another planet. The rubbish is teleported. They find the people from the service station and giant four armed green aliens. The aliens are natives of a planet groaning under human garbage that has been sent here. From the base around Jupiter's Moons the robots plan to strike out and clean all, including Earth and the rest of the solar system. The Doctor uses the TARDIS to bring back the people and the spear chucking aliens (explosive spears are used by them) to stop the robots. He also suggested to the service staff that they reprogram any surviving robots to the Dumping Planet so the robots can send the trash back to where the robots were made: Acme Cleaning Industries, New Brentford, Earth. That oughta change their corporate policy. All bad guys battered, all rights wrong, the Doctor tells Rose to call him the original vacum cleaner.

The TARDIS vending machine is all out of chocolate so the Doctor takes Rose to Belgium to get some from a bloke called Willie. WW1 is going on and German privates Gunttner and Voss find them. Capt. Rotmund orders them shot but they refer to angels telling the Captain that these strangers might know about the angels. It is 1914 and the Doctor recounts superstition about angels taking the dead to heaven. The Doctor has a compass which doesn't work right because a disturbance in the atmospheric field caused by a giant alien camera! Half a billion light years away, an alien teacher shows his alien class the war field. Warfreek Emeritus and Student BZ are among those watching. It is a level 3A Post Mechanical Pre Nuclear Case Study. The Doctor tells Rose these warfreekz are connoisseurs of carnage and think of war as art and specialize in conflict management, engineering perfect slaughter. They are far out from their home turf. The captain orders the two men to shoot the device but it zaps the young one, Erich. Not far away, British forces detect the sounds of Rose and the scream of the young man and move toward them, with orders to fix bayonets. The aliens watching await a mindless slaughter.

As the Captain oders Voss to ready to shoot, The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver to destroy the alien device and gives it to Rose, who uses it to illuminate herself to the British and act as an angel. Despite Rose's message of love and protection, the British men think she is the angel of death and run. The Doctor tells the aliens via their reprogrammed device that war is not safe for anyone and to prove it he uses a feedback pulse to make the aliens ears hurt. The Doctor tells Rotmund that Paul and the recovered Erich should get commendations and if they do not the angel of death will haunt him. Paul gives Rose a token of thanks...his chocolate ration. The Doctor says, "Sweet."

NOTE: This strip features Destrii from the DWM comic strips.

Rose and the Doctor are in scuba suits and air masks underwater. TARDIS sits underwater. They are inside an alien's body but an larger alien infection thing is attached to the heart and feeding off the chamber wall. The Doctor and Rose chop at the tubes it has and kick start the immune system, white corpusles come which attack them instead! The Doctor can only think of one way out of this and Rose tells him that's one more than she can. He asks her if she trusts him and she asks, "Are we talking about saving our lives or picking me out a decent pair of shoes?" The Doctor tells Rose he's seen her shoe collection and wouldn't have time to get through it even with the TARDIS. The Doctor's plan: let this thing eat them! They swim inside the creature's mouth. Once inside, the creature blows up!

In an alien lab, the foreign infection comes out and blue skinned alien female docctors and nurses tend to Queen Svelna. They also extract the TARDIS. The aliens discuss either the TARDIS or the infection saying, "It's almost Svelnoid and sentient." The Queen thanks Rose and the Doctor who seem to emerge from the TARDIS. Her surgeons thought this illness incurable. The Doctor knows this Queen is the only one smart enough to sign the intergalactic peace treaty and make it work and head of a couple of centuries of pointless war. The Queen remarks about his flattery. She asks for a royal consort, someone to rule by her side--him! Someone with an elegance of dress and demeanor. Rose mentions he is so in there. The Doctor tells her he is not the marrying kind and that he has to look after "this one", meaning Rose. She can't even pick out a decent pair of shoes without him. On their way back into the TARDIS, Rose asks if she is not his type. He thinks the size thing would be a bit of an issue but they could have worked that out. He says trouble is that although Svelnans are great diplomats and peaceful people, they are terrible cheats at Tiddly winks. He can't stand that.

Rose holds an alien Palanth while in the village of Galathos aliens with tattoos which are the warning of the gods' curse, tell a sad story of one of their daughter's dying, stricken by the gods' sickwind. The tattoos warn when the sickwind is coming. When the marks come they have seven suns to find and slay the Dramos to revel in its tears and dance in its healing blood. Rose promises to do what they can but the Doctor tells the aliens that he will investigate in the morning. The aliens give Rose the palanth. The Doctor prefers a nice big licky dog, a nice robot dog. Rose and the Doctor hack their way through an alien jungle, ride a wave, and find a cave. The Galathos gave them the impression it would be easy. The Doctor thinks the aliens are wrong about a lot of things. He also reminds Rose about the time on Praxos 9 when she wanted to take the escalator...and if they did that, they would not have had to fight off the luminous sucker crabs. Rose thinks the Palanth is sick. The Doctor thought that Rose might like the exercise so that is why they didn't use the TARDIS. The Doctor mentions the Dramos might be a she and Rose believes it might cure the Palanth. The giant blue monster Dramos seems to rush them, in what Rose first thought was an earthquake. It tries to tell them something is wrong. The Doctor tells Rose he is going to let go and to trust him.

Without the blood of the Dramos, the Galathos say they will die. The Doctor will not permit it--the Dramos has eggs ready to hatch and wonders why it is being killed. Every time the sickwind comes, one of the creatures ends up dead. Dramos cries and near the Palanth. The Palanth gets better, the mark of the sickwind vanishes from it. The mark on the aliens is not a mark of the gods' curse--it is an airborne virus, like the flu, only worse. The Doctor tells them this as he rides back on the Dramos with Rose and the Palanth. The Dramos is full of natural anti biotics but not in her blood, in her tears. The aliens have been killing her people for nothing. They just need to make her cry, which Rose thinks they will be good at. She also asks what is that all about dancing in her blood, not very hygienic. One of the aliens tells the Dramos a sad story and makes the Dramos cry. "I love a story with a happy ending," the Doctor says and asks where to now. Rose wants to go someplace a bit more cheerful. He asks, "How about the world of the jolly monkeys?" Rose thinks he is winding her up. He goes on, "Thing is-- the monkeys are two hundred metres high and radioactive. Very jolly though, you know, considering..."

The 10th Doctor and Rose arrive on Earth in present day, tracing a freaky alien energy source. Rose detects cips at Terry's Cafe. She figures the Doctor's skinny legs need filling up. He tells her she sounds like her mother. The Doctor thinks they should be right ontop of the alien energy pulse. A man is scarfing down food: what the waitress calls Terry's Special Breakfast: Full Fried Death. The man explodes. Under him is a Gastronaut, something Rose thought the Doctor had not seen before but he has. They have one body growing inside another like Russian dolls. They exist only to feed the next version of themselves. The alien likes the fats and complex carbohydrates. He's told friends who arrive in flying saucers. Once established, these aliens can pick a planet clean. A telepod arrival of more aliens almost knocks them over, the latest thing in teleport tech. Alien Gastronaut Rammzi, a TV chef arrives, he owns thousands of resturants, a female alien tells the Doctor. He has a temper and it is said that he once filleted a washer upper who left a slightly dirty pan. Rammzi gives Terry, the cook and owner glitter bird guano which honks and is rare as currency and would make him rich. Ram makes his Chopbots restrain Terry when Terry turns him down. Ram hopes to make a galaxy wide chain of Terry's even if he has to extract Terry's secrets from his living brain. Another Gastronaut claims that Pukka Olifa of Geeza 7 had a lower IQ than his own vegetable course once Ram's chopbots finished with him. Rose throws liquid at Ram and claims her mum Jackie Tyler can make a better fry up and doesn't burn sausages. Ram send his bots after Rose and soon he will go after her mother too!

The Doctor uses ketchup and a joke to blind the visual sensors of the Chopbots. Terry beans Ram's head with a pan. The Doctor tells another Gastronaut that Heston Bleston at the Fat Buck, Quadrant 92, first left after the Horse Head Nebula has great food. Word of mouth makes the aliens leave Terry's. The waitress runs away, telling Terry she wants to get a nice safe job and not work in a place full of monsters. Rammzi fiddles with his telepod, trying to get away. The Doctor does something with his sonic screwdriver--disables the telepod. Later in the TARDIS, the Doctor tells Rose he sent a message to Ram's people, they will get it in a couple of hundred years. In the meantime, Ram is the new help in Terry's! He is moping up the floors! Terry puts him on the job of cleaning the toilets next!

Rose comments that the Doctor should put a sign "Reserved Parking TARDIS only" in the spot at the Powell Estate. The Doctor comments she does like that spot. It is 3 months early for winter and yet everything is cold and no one can be found, not even Jackie. A date with Rose's mum is the scariest thing the Doctor says he's ever faced. The Doctor chases a man named Jason Harris who lives upstairs. The ice in the rooms including Jackie's flat is not ice, it's alien. Jason tells him the aliens must have heard the vibrations and that the Doctor doesn't know what they can do to him. The Doctor says, "They don't know what I can do to them." Everyone is on the top of the building. The aliens came four days ago. Ice like aliens come and touch Jason and seem to freeze him. They run but face a bigger creature.

They go back into the building and see the estate redecorated in the alien ice. The sonic screwdriver batteries are exhausted. Rose asks him if he's kidding her. It runs on batteries. The creature attacks and touches Rose and freezes her. The thing says they have always been here and need the cold to freeze themselves into existence. They would not survive another heat time. The Doctor calls it global warming. The Doctor frees Rose despite them threatening her life. They run and find a weather machine and the switch it off. The people are freed. The Doctor tells the aliens, "If you can't stand the heat, get off the planet!" The aliens seem to die. The Doctor says, "Le'ts go. Planets to visit, more mums to save." Rose wants to check on her mom, and says just a quick catch up, she promises. The Doctor sees it raining, "Is it supposed to be raining? Just good old English weather returning to normal. You know I'm really glad I chose this coat."

Rose runs out of the TARDIS toward a Safari Park named Wumba's World of Wild, thinking it a park on Earth. The Doctor's glad it doesn't have Meerkats. Rose asks what he has against them and he tells her he knows what they are planning. Seemingly human children and teens are wearing human masks: they are really aliens and this is really an alien planet. A mother alien keeps her darlings back, afraid they might catch something and another alien calls for keepers, thinking the humans have escaped. Green keepers with red eye pieces fire darts into the Doctor and Rose. A father alien tells his son that the humans don't feel pain like they do. The Doctor and Rose wake up in a display with other humans, who are dressed in loin cloths as cavepeople. These include Steve, team leader; Phoeboe, welfare secretary; Adam, arts and recreation. They are colonists from the third wave out from Earth. The Doctor estimates this is the 41st century. Steve tells them they had a colony townstead, coffee bars, water, mod cons, power..then the aliens came. The aliens put them on a reservation behind a mile high fence and in a fake prehistoric age and stonehenge, all plastic. The Doctor sees Rose's ankle tag is 50105 and wonders what happened to the other people--all fifty thousand. An alien tour group comes by and the tour guide tells the aliens inside that human sounds are meaningless to them but they must have a basic evolved language. Steve recommends to the others to show their bum...they might get treats thrown to them if they show their bums. A loud alarm sounds and the Doctor thinks it is feeding time...not for them...dinosaurs rampage at them...Rex's, long nosed dinos, and flying dinos and alien dinos. Rose mentions the bad breath on the Brontosaurus leading the Doctor to believe this Bronto is a meat eater and should not be. He thinks they have been genetically altered to eat anything that moves. The Doctor tells Rose to scarper and an orange dino is about to eat him, knocking him down. He calls it Gumbo. Rose yells, "Doctor!"

The Doctor reaches into the dino's nasal cavity and tickles it to make it sneeze. The Doctor grabs Rose's hand and jumps into the hover bus. The tour guide grabs a hiding kid and notices that the Doctor speaks their alien language...TARDIS. The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to remove the robotic steering and gets infront of the giant alien dinos and says, in reptile, "Follow me for pizza." "That's dinosaurs for you. Brains the size of a pea, mad for napoli sauce..." Proper food has been denied these creatures. The hover bus withstands the dino attack so the Doctor crashes the gates. The dinos get free and the aliens evacuate the compound. Steve thanks the Doctor for his offer of a ride off world but he and his humans decide to stay...we only see Steve and one other, the male called Adam. Even though the planet is crawling with Dinosaurs they want to make a go of it here. They think there is nowhere else like it, a beautiful planet. Hanging out of the TARDIS door, the Doctor hands them a card, "If ou change your minds, then use this card. It's for a firm of telepathic taxis...just think 0707 get me out of here...they'll find you in the end." Steve walks off with his hand on Adam's arm, "The future, Adam?" Adam says, "The future, Steve." They walk off into the sunset.

London, 1897: Inspector Lestrade thanks the Doctor and Rose for stopping the evil Prof. Janus, a man who seems to have two faces (?). If he had been married this morning, the case of the unsuitable suitor might never have been closed. He will tell Queen Victoria about their help but the Doctor wants him to cover it up. He suggests a false name and the Rose says Sherlock. The Doctor and Rose get into a horse drawn cab, he wants to go to Waterloo, catch the boat train to Paris, and maybe a night at the Moulin Rouge. She tells him he can be the Duke de Tardis and she will be Nicole Kidman. Giant vampire bats are attacking. Mad adventure ahead, Rose asks and the Doctor confirms. The Doctor instructs the cabbie to go to a building the bats are circling over, Rose tells him to keep the meter running, they'll be back...it might be 1952 but they will be back. Rose attacks what looks like a vampire attacking a girl but it is really a play. She references Fearless Vampire Killers. The Royal Lyceum Theatre, May 18th, quarter past ten will put on the first stage presentation of Bram Stoker's Dracula. This is a reading of it or something. Bram is there, asking them not to interrupt the reading of his latest novel Dracula. It wil be published next Monday. Bram manages the stage for his friend Mr. Irving. Rose tells Bram that she's seen things that would curl his beard. Bram's wife Florence comes running. Dracula has arrived and is in the theatre. It is Frederick Von Dracula, Count of Wallachia, Great great great great grandson of Vlad Tepes. He calls lawyers the real bloodsuckers. He points a crossbow at Bram. Florence turns into a monster and stops the bow as it is fired. She summons the bats to take Dracula back to Transylvania. 20 years ago a man she loved made her like this. She must vampirize everyone in the theatre. They use kittens to nourish her. The Doctor tells Rose vampirism is more common than she thinks and asks her if an old lady never went out that lived near her and kept too many cats. It is an alien disease in all its forms. If they destroy the vampire that did this to her then she will be cured. The man that did this to her is named Oscar Wilde. Oscar is in jail now. The Doctor vows to break into prison, cure Oscar, and save the kittens!

1897 in Reading Gaol by Reading Town is Prisoner C.3.3. The Doctor followed and carried by bats lands on the window of Oscar Wilde's cell! He explains that 20 years ago Oscar loved Florence, the vampire woman. The bats cannot carry Oscar's weight and the TARDIS cannot fit in the cell. If they can get back to it, the Doctor might be able to cure Oscar. Rose and Florence use the psychic paper to pose as inspectors of prisons bearing the seal of her majesty. As they tour the jail, they hear a kid who has concern for his unwell brother. The kids were caught snaring three rabbits: their crime. As Florence tries to distract the guards and the main warden, they turn on vampire faces! They are vampires! Oscar tells the Doctor, as they break out of the cell, that at Oxford at a séance party, a shining creature entered and killed his fellows but wounded only him with wounds of love. The Doctor thinks she was an alien probe sailing thought waves, an explorer drawn to the séance. It filled its tanks with his friends' blood and made him a beason. They see the prison doctor who did experiments on Oscar in the past. They go to hide in his surgery and find him -- a vampire about to turn Rose into one, too! Shee could use a distraction of her own. These extracted the vampire virus from Oscar to make themselves vampires. The Doctor tells Oscar to stop them by being butch. Oscar commands them to stop. Their plan was to take the virus and distribute it…which they seem to have already done. Batch 272. The Doctor thinks there could be vampire colonies all over Great Britain. The Doctor wishes he had a nano filtration system with pathogen splicing to make a smart anti virus but he does not so he drinks it! Every Time Lord was immunized…they have anti vampire serum along with the MMR. His body uses antigens to defuse the virus. He spews it out and makes everyone normal again by burping. Now he orders Oscar and Florence to burp to save the world, the virus will spread out and cure any vampire. The next day, Bram and Florence take on the two orphan boys for them to live with them. Oscar will exile to Paris. The Doctor quotes Oscar to Oscar, twice!

TARDIS escapes Speardriods who shot spears into it, nearly killing Rose. As the Doctor and Rose remove spears from the TARDIS riggings, Rose wonders why there is always trouble wherever and whenever they land. She wonders if the TARDIS is cursed. The Doctor reminds her of last Thursday when they landed in the Quiet Zone of the Planet Ssshhh. Rose adds shortly before it got invaded by space banshees. The Doctor counters the day after they were on the Meditation Centre on Karma Major; Rose counters it was when the Psychotrons possessed the Head Yogi. The Doctor shows her the randomizer and he plugs it into the console. At galactic coordinates 13:13:13:13:13:13 on the 13th Moon of the 13th planet of the 13th galaxy on the 13th day of the 13th year of the 13th Century: Rose reckons it is on a Friday. Amid rain, a lightning blast hits the TARDIS and it is gone. 11 robed aliens come to them and tell them they are the unluckiest beings in all creation. The one chatting to them is Father Tragedy of the Triskaidekaphobes. Fear of 13. Sisters Misery and Misfortune died in a gardening accident earlier that day. Brother Anguish brings cowls of gloom for Rose and the Doctor to replace the two sisters. The Father tells the Doctor they have been here on the moon for as long as they can remember, alone except for black cats that cross their paths. Cats attack Brother Melanholy. The Doctor recites unlucky 13: witches' coverns and Satan was the 13th angel; Judas the 13th round of the supper table; office blocks skip the 13th floor; Apollo 13 launched at 13:13. He asks her if she wants a banana. A lawn mower on the meadow of Moroseness has cut some of the grass. The Doctor find a four leafed clover. The Doctor notes the one rain cloud in the sky has been following them. He flips a coin and Rose picks heads and wins. Lightning hits near another brother. A lightning monster attacks Rose!

It is really a matter transporter and it whisks Rose and the Doctor to a spaceship at the heart of the cloud. Alien blue man Bob Kreesus tells them he is right. The Doctor's coin is a quantum powered one that changes its up surface to the least likely outcome. They are harvesting luck. Below are 13 unlucky clones kept in an optimally unfortunate environment. Converting their bad vibes into positive psychical energy by a computer on board. It makes those above -- Bob -- lucky on horses and galactic lottery to keep him in luxuury forever. If anything lucky happens to those below, Bob zaps them. Misery and Misfortune are on the ship with Bob, swimming. The Doctor tells Bob that's not what happens. Bob just has an alien computer with a quantum powered processor, that's why he keeps on winning. The Doctor uses the screwdriver to destroy it. The Doctor returns to the Moon with Bob, Misery and Misfortune and Rose, of course, using the TARDIS. The sun is shining. The world blooms. Lucky Bob will be member 14 of their clan. Bob pulls a ray gun on Rose but falls off a cliff, even though the Doctor warned him of a cliff behind him. Rose calls that unlucky.

Rose refers to dinosaurs, vampires, or mad monks obsessed with the number 13 but on this planet there are purple trees and orange skies. Sunshine and flowers and a great big ole in the ground that the Doctor falls down. He wants to grow wings but can't. He sees living missiles coming at him and they save him. A man from Earth -- or at least he says he's from Earth -- in pin stripes takes Rose down the hole using a flying anti gravity umbrella. His card is a butterfly like thing that says Arcadian Independent Traders. The Doctor introduces them to his missile friends: Fat Boy, Little Man, Whizz Bang, Sharkey. The man tells them that these short range weapons are the surviving pieces of a war thousands of years ago when the people of this planet wiped each other out. The base remained and the missiles evolved into a society. The man uses a triangular teleportal. He will give the missiles all the action figures and toys they want if they fly through it to planet Zlaow. The missiles are full of distronic explosive, banned throughout the galaxy, when it decays it becomes unstable and when it reacts to sunlight…it can explode. The missiles cannot go out because if they do their nose cones will explode. The man claims the sun of Zlaow was snuffed out years ago and he tells the missiles to ignore the Doctor, calling him a cheating trader. The Doctor figures this man is an arms dealer and he's been hired to blow up the planet on the other side of the portal. The missiles fly toward the portal.

Using the sonic screwdriver, the Doctor makes the umbrella go mental and take the man through the portal. On the other side are giant brown Bigfoot types and a giant living flower…the Doctor shuts the portal, making the miissiles angry. The Doctor tells them they have to grow up and he uses the umbrella he snatched from the man to fly himself and Rose outside and up. The missiles claim he is not their friend any longer and they get big brother after him. A giant missile is big brother. A long range nuclear missile that comes from the ground and blows up but Rose and the Doctor have already vanished in the TARDIS. The long range missile produced smoke and dust that block out the sun for generations…a nuclear winter. Thhe missiles get out and play in the dark on the planet.

NOTE: This villain, the man trader, seems to be Mephistopheles Arkadian, a villain from Big Finish's GALLIFREY series.

Rose hears a sound that sounds like Mickey's old car on a winter morning. Dodging the Erewon Armada, the Xion Crytsals were jolted out of line and the slippage caused the passavitor to go into flux and leak coolant into the aethiopathic chamber. The positioning system has overheated. The Doctor thinks a giant hand slapping the Tardis might realign the crystals. They are lost and have no idea what they will find when they open the doors. They see giant items of food and statues and what seems to be a museum of Earth type things: an old 1950s pink car, the Statue of Liberty and a Route 66 sign, among hamburgers and drinks. They seem to be on a giant pinball board. They meet Joyce Tick and Track R Ball, green blue skinned aliens. Track is sentenced to punishment for three rounds at the game for 1273 hours and 16 minutes at the game face. The Doctor figures these people have wasted so much time on computer games, they are being forced by society to repay their debt as gameslaves. The game is a giant real life pinball game. The public decide whether or not the ones in the game live by how well they played the game. It seems Track gets the thumbs down. A guard grabs Rose instead of Joyce for one game round. Joyce was sentenced for playing at gameface for 201 hours and 57 min. Rose is shot into the game…

The Doctor is already working on a plan. He plays pinball by taking over the game from the workings. He gets Rose out at the same time while slamming the TARDIS with a giant ball…a ball Rose was inside. He tells Rose she fixed the TARDIS. After they run into the TARDIS and vanish, he tells Rose he spent a lot of time playing pinball in the 1960s. Rose tells him, angry at first, that being in the ball was fantastic and really exciting. The Doctor says, "You might even say that you had a ball."

Rose and the Doctor wear shades on an alien planet of very strange colored gangster aliens. They are in kind of a sunset strip between galaxies so the law here is suspended. Rose barks on about replacements parts for the TARDIS, namely the Vending Machine. They go into an illegal tea room, most places across the universe, tea is illegal. He orders Potta Darjeeling and macaroons. The Doctor sees that there is a Tech Market on Thursdays. A toothy-tooth missing alien calls that on the corner of Bacall and Bogart (Casa Blanca) he saw a police box. That means the Doctor is in town. He also holds a wanted poster, Wanted: Dead or Alive but Dead'll Do The Doctor aka Dr Who do gooder, time meddler, persecutor of honest bad guys bounty one billion creds. Rose and the Doctor escape through a window but in the alley they see horse faced aliens holding up a human like blond lady and her cyber friend, a short being. He gets zapped by their large machine guns. Rose gets away with her but they get the Doctor prisoner. They were asking where the bird was. They, the Trigger Brothers, take the Doctor to the boss, Mr Lippizzaner. This boss gets word from his underling Nagg that Don Corpulone has arrived from spacedocks with his sons. Bonk and Gluey comes in with Don and show him cyber arms. Exoskeletal strongarms from Tashkent each with a different charge: hi velocity, incendiary, ricochet. The wearer is slaved to a remote control hub. Don tells him his little girl is missing. This is Doll, the blond woman with Rose. She took the Bird with her. They had a family argument. The Doctor talks about wearing safety pins, touch of green in his hair, bit of leather. Across town, at some motel, in Room 13, Rose and Doll talk. The cyber being, a droid is made tough. He comes to them, he was not blasted away. He's made of duralinium. The Doctor calls to make an exchange: him for the Bird or he gets zapped. At the spacedocks, everyone meets. Lipp has ten arms of metal, mostly on his thugs, and he wants the Bird and the Doctor. Don has the remote control however, and he uses it to stop Lipp. Rose, Doll and the Doctor run. The Don and his sons are just floating heads that remove themselves from the fake bodies. Doll, behind the Doctor and Rose, who watch the heads rise off, tells them, "Me and the family don't see eye to eye on much but the one thing we agree on is…anyone who finds out our secret, diess…sorry bout this…" she says as her head comes off and her body attacks them!

On a crime world known as the Sunset Strip, Rose and the Doctor have rescued Doll, who's on the run from her horrible dad the Don but there's more to Doll than meets the eye…The Doctor tells Dolll she has a killer body but as he uses the sonic screwdriver to zap it down, he tells her "But that sort of thing don't impress me much." The Cyber Detective fires a shot that makes Don's Horse goons who are remote controlled via the metal arms, fire at Don, his sons Bonk and Gluey and each other. Doll tells the Doctor her back-story: a crazy scientist grew a bunch of talking heads for company for the sad and the old. He made them too clever to want to sit around and make chat about the weather. The faces in the flashback look a lot like Bacall, Peter Lorre, Clark Gable, Moe from the 3 Stooges, and other old time movie stars. Inside the Detective's chest hatch is the bird: the egg of a glitter bird, a rare robot species, the droppings of which are studded with diamonds. It is an endangered species, near extinction. The Doctor yells at Doll that he will not let it line the gangsters' pockets. Doll tells him she was getting to like him, he has a certain heroic charm but in her world there are no room for heroes. She orders her robot to kill them both but the Doctor talks him out of it. His own kind is a robot inside him, an endangered robot species that needs the Detective's help. The Doctor guesses the Detective is an Acme Industries android built in New Brentford and his override code is 5678/2345 Alpha Delta Alpha. The Droid helps them, giving the egg to the Doctor. The Droid throws himself off the roof they are on with Bonk and Gluey. Doll and Don cry as they realize Doll is head of the family—what she wanted all along. Rose and the Doctor get away and tto a small spaceship, which the Doctor hotwires and uses the heat from the backburners to hatch the egg at 1000 degrees. The bird flies away into space. Don tells the Doctor, when he and Doll catch up to him, that he will die "fer" this. Droid authorities hold up Don and Doll, they even have Bonk and Gluey—headds in jars, missing a few teeth but alive. Doll calls them thick skulls. The Detective tells the Doctor to broadcast the override code to every detective droid on Sunset Strip. He wants to clean up crime. Rose tells him he's the droid to do it. The Doctor finishes with, "Gangbusters. Just be careful with all that power. Don't let it go to your head."

The Doctor takes Rose to Paris for window shopping, people watching, and sight seeing. This includes seeing the Mona Lisa. They dip croissants into hot chocolate and eat chips---with Rose using ketchup on her's. They sit in front of the Eiffel Tower. A mime gives a rose to Rose. The Doctor sees postcards which he claims are like messages from another time. Then, Rose wonders what year it is. No one answers her as if she is not there. Suddenly there are scary looking security men and people who vanish into nothing. They see a stall with a hologram welcoming them to Paris. The Doctor was surprised it was spring and not Christmas time. He puts it down to time slippage as he wanted to visit Paris in 2006. Robocops are unable to stop two beret wearing criminals who crash out of a building and start firing on them. The robots vanish when shot. A female crook is cubed by a guard and some other crooks are as well. These are containment weapons. Two who are not go through a vortex and pull Rose along with them.

Last time: the Doctor and Rose's perfect weekend in Paris was interrupted when Rose was kidnapped! The crooks give Rose a jacket to wear as she is cold and it is now snowing and December. A blonde man, named Jean Paul, one of the criminals, tells here what she was looking out were all enhanced by a computer programme called that the crooks call the Façade. The weather and blue sky controlled. The croissant and hot chocolate synthetic. The girl with orange hair, also a crook is named Esme. They want people to see the real Paris in order to start to make it better. Some of the robot guards are real, some unreal. The unreal ones can be closed down. The Doctor shuts down some of the program but has to run from a real robot guard. The rebels are entering a virus to close down the Façade. The Doctor runs to them. A battle follows and the rebels win. They find a control room and meet the man behind the Façade. He thanks them. He was just a kid when he built the thing but it kind of took him over. He's been set free. People can see the real Paris with all its imperfections and quirks. A man and boy are in sight. Esme and Jean Paul bid Rose and the Doctor goodbye. Kids are throwing snowballs at a man in a long coat, one is atop a car, drinking it appears. The Doctor and Rose stand in front of the TARDIS (which has graffiti written on it that says Merry Christmas). The Doctor and Rose think Paris is going to wake up and smell the real coffee. Rose says, "Never mind the coffee, it's time for Christmas Dinner. Let's go for some real chips!"

The Doctor is traveling alone and this means he's talking to himself while he is alone. Both and the TARDIS fall off a cliff as soon as he steps out of the TARDIS. He grabs a vine. The Doctor thinks it will take him days and muses, "Trust the TARDIS to take the quick way down." A woman named Kara McGravy warns him not to go down there and helps him up. She has been charting the flora and fauna for the Outworld University. Everything here is carnivorous including the plant life. She's been here two days. A blue plant bites the Doctor's posterior. Kara welcomes him to the planet Hondrian. Four armed purple aliens attack them. The Doctor recognizes them as aliens from Untralo IV who hunt humans. The Doctor takes Kara's hand and jumps off a hillside into mud, which he hopes will throw off the scent as the Untra hunt by scent. Kara realizes it is quicksand and the Doctor pulls them out, reaching up to a vine; Kara on his back. The Doctor says, "What a wonderful planet, brilliant!" Untra are genetically engineered to hunt humans. One smells pure fear. The Doctor tells Kara he's not human, so the aliens are after her, technically speaking. A giant frog like, planet like creature wraps green tentacles around the Doctor and lifts him into the air and almost into its mouth! Kara screams out, "Doctor!"

On the jungle planet Hondran, the Doctor and space explorer Kara McGravy are on the run from alien hunters…but their esscape isn't going according to plan! A meat eating Marorda plant has the Doctor. The plants talk but this one spits the Doctor out, not enough meat on him. The Doctor makes friends with it but the hunters shoot it and step on it. Kara makes a break for it and hides among purple mushrooms with a bad smell. One warns her she is squashing them. She throws some of them at the hunters and gets them in the hunters' mouths. The Doctor and she get away but end up having to climb down a huge vine along a cliff. The vines attack and have huge jaws of teeth. The Doctor knits one purls one and ties the vines up into a tangle. They run but the biggest Untra, the only one who got away, holds a gun at them. The vines ate the other Untra. The big plant that the Doctor made friends with saves them by putting the alien hunter into its mouth but not swallowing him. He spits him out after chewing him up alittle. The only surviving Untra flies off. The Doctor is glad the plant didn't swallow him, he would have given terrible indigestion. The Doctor thanks the plant, "And I'm free to continue my exploration, I've made some good friends on this planet."

Croxton Hall, home of Lord Percivale Tubb built in 1862, seen both world wars and seen the century turn twice. The TARDIS arrives on the front lawn despite the Doctor having set it to materialize inside the house. He came for a party. There is a sign that says keep off the grass and no lights are on inside. He uses the sonic screwdriver to let himself inside when no one answers. The Doctor yells inside that he is ready to do the La Vida Loca. He senses something wrong and it is why the TARDIS would not materialize inside, it also sensed something wrong. Daisy White creeps up on the Doctor but they introduce themselves to one another. She was hired help for the party. He tells her he is an old friend of Tubbs. It is the anniversary of his wedding to his wife and he was there and they’ve had fantastic parties ever since. He loves a good party. The Doctor also loves a haunted house even if he doesn’t believe in ghosts, even as a female one attacks him. Daisy tackles him out of the way; her brothers both played rugby. The thing is a partially phased spectrum shifted waveform. A male one attacks. Daisy tells the Doctor if these things touch you, you die and come back as one of them. She pulls him away from the male one. He grabs her and slides with her down the banister. They go into the clock room where the Doctor uses the screwdriver to lock the door. Tubbs is a horologist. The Doctor used to fancy collecting clocks but he could never find the time. He gave Tubbs a clock once?a wedding gift. He wonderss what happened to it. The Ghost of Tubbs comes at him?

Daisy dives to save the Doctor from being touched and she does. Unfortunately, she is touched and is turned into a ghost. The ghosts can’t hear him and he can’t hear what they are saying. “On your again, Doctor” The ghosts start to fade away. The Doctor believes the clock room has the key: broken pieces of a clock. Lord Tubbs’s ghost is pulling a crook. This man came in to steal the clock and the man was caught in the act by Tubbs. During the scuffle, the clock fell and broke: an ancient horologe, built by Master Chronosmiths from the Older Worlds to measure the passage of time across different dimensions. It is linked to time itself. The damage has extended into time itself, causing a fracture in the universe, splitting off one time from another. Those nearest to it have slipped into a different kind of time. People caught in the fracture are fading away. If the alternative time stream splits off permanently then Tubbs and his household will disappear forever. The Doctor works to fix the clock before this happens. As they reappear fully, Daisy White stops the crook. The next morning, Tubbs and Daisy bid goodbye to the Doctor outside as he moves toward the TARDIS. The horologe clock was the wedding gift the Doctor gave Tubbs years ago. The Doctor tells them it says it was time he was going.

According to the TARDIS, the Doctor should have landed in Baz's easy diner on the eastern side of Agrellian Thaxis in the middle of the day. Unfortunately, he's landed in a moon light simulation biodome where plants exposed to moonlight grow giant. When he uses his sonic screwdriver to light his way, the plants attack him. A robot with many pointed attachments gets him out and brings him to heavy set Professor Brask. The Doctor figures that being on a space station, he can't really bluff his way out by saying he's arrived by accident. The Doctor uses psychic paper to make him think he's here for an inspection. Brask gets red head Prof Flynn, who is female and wears long ear rings and do-rag on her head, to explain. A civilian research team, they have made plants that will help the lives of the colonists on the outer rim and allow them to push further with exploration teams: crops that grow at the slightest hint of light. The Doctor wonders about the side effects and how the colonists will feel if they have to fight their vegetables every time they want to eat. Brask wants to increase the effects and use the plants as a powerful weapon. He wants to make a fortune but he's not in charge. Brask uses the Doctor as a distraction to steal the genetically modified seed samples (which have a handwritten sticky note on their refrigerator door!). He kicks the robot out of his way, steals the seeds and actives the security doors. He uses an escape pod to get out of the station. Brask's old colleagues at Weapontek will find the seeds useful. A Weapontek battle cruiser is about to pick him up. He's disabled the controls to the radio and the station and other vital controls. The station warning goes into effect: it is no longer in geostationary orbit and lost all power to the motors. Auto pilot is disengaged and only life support continues. The station goes down slowly but the sun appears at the windows and the plants, exposed to direct sunlight, gor out of the biodome and attack the Doctor, Flynn and other technicians....

Last time: on a secret laboratory in space, plants that turn lethal in sunlight have just been set loose by a traitor! The Doctor mixes up a potion to throw at the plants to free Flynt because he needs her help. Brask communicates and then is taken aboard his buyers ship…the leader is named Jerrix. The Doctor gets to the robot power relays and control protocols. Brask left the secondary systems alone. Using his sonic screwdriver to rig up the robot control protocols, the Doctor tells the gardening robots that the plants are a virulent strain of Centurian Strangle Weed. The robots attack and destroy the plants. The Doctor communicates with Brask and tells him that he is a man who likes to tinker. The Doctor has tinkered again using the sonic screwdriver and has control of the tractor beam. He uses the Jerrix ship to eclipse the sun and kill the plants. Soon, police robots arrive for Jerrix and Brask. The Doctor tells Flynt she still has the seeds and that she should try the reverse spectrum therapy…it has no nasty side effects. Flynt asks him to stay on and help start again. He tells her he’s long overdue at Baz’s Easy Diner. He states that after today he thinks he’ll steer clear of vegetable soup.

It is the year 3769 and space station Alpha is under construction, orbiting planet Earth. It will take over five years to build. A space construction worker Jimmy and his robot Bert, a technomatic welding robot X-5 work on the lower blocks looking for snags. Jimmy wants to earn enough to get his arm fixed, to replaced a bionic rivet gun (his arm has seized up). Bert hits a thruster duct and falls to a level where the Doctor (in a purple greenish space suit) and the TARDIS are. The Doctor’s foot gets tangled in Bert’s lower hose and Bert shoots off but the Doctor grabs onto a pole and stops Bert. The Doctor tells a returning Jimmy that something is interfering with Bert’s operating system…a rogue communications signal. Jimmy asks for authorisation from the Doctor who tells him he finds that a very over rated concept. The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver to take Bert’s signal receptors off line, returning Bert to a sane state. The signal interfered with Bert’s comm channel broadcast over a secret channel. Bert wants to report it first but the Doctor tells them to investigate first, then report, otherwise they won’t know what they are reporting. Using the sonic screwdriver he allows them access to the Waste Containment Block 17 and inside they find huge green heavily armed androids with three eyes. The androids wake up and attack them, threatening to terminate humanoids. Hanging on to Bert with one hand and Jimmy with the other, the Doctor and the pair find themselves falling into the septic tank via the waste outlet pipe. The Doctor wants to remove bolts to escape…the bolts are force bonded polytritanium rivets. Jimmy tells the Doctor his arm’s recoil circuit is jammed. It used to punch rivets through reinforced tritanium. He and Bert were the best sanitary engineers in the solar system. The Doctor tells a sarcastic Bert not to give up on his dreams, one never knows when they will come in useful. The Doctor shines a light as they find the bottom of the tank… a huge fanged face with tentacles from it and with red nose and eyes introduces itself as Klytode, the owner of the guard androids. He is ready…to destroy the Earth!

Previously…the Doctor, still traveling alone, had made friends with Jimmy and his robot pal Bert X-5, construction workers on a huge space station orbiting planet Earth. Together they have discovered the Klytode, an alien being guarded by armed androids, hidden in the depths of the station. The Klytode had a cobalt bomb which will blast the space station out of orbit, send it crashing to Earth. Bert grabs Jimmy and the bomb, the Doctor holding onto a wire from Bert. The androids try to recover the bomb so the trio make their way up the scaffolding but too deep inside the station, Jimmy cannot get a signal to warn the authorities. The trio make for the upper levels. The Doctor tells Bert that cobalt 725 is detonated by low frequency delta waves and this range, the Klytode cannot detonate; the Doctor claiming there’s nothing wrong with a bit of blond optimism as well as a fact. The trio reach Atmosphere Lock 9 and the hull is self sealing. Jimmy apologies to Bert for the mess they are in but Bert tells him to forget it. Having taken a short cut, the androids reach them and one picks up the Doctor. The Klytode grabs Bert and the bomb. The Doctor knows the Klytode is willing to blow himself up with the Earth undergoing climatic changes that will make it change suitable for the Klytodes to live in…they all share the same mind; it’s a gestalt being: one mind with many bodies, each sharing the thoughts of the Master Creature. The change will allow the other Klytode, the brethren, to come. The Klytode’s own world was a dark husk on the edge of the Aktren galaxy. That is the fate of any planet the Klytode inhabit. Unzipping and abandoning his spacesuit, The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver, hidden in his spacesuit (which was made to measure), to free Bert and allow Bert to send a jamming signal on the androids’ unauthorized wavelength. He also uses the screwdriver to fix Jimmy’s cannon arm to shoot the detonator into space while Klytode is occupied with the androids. Later, the Klytode is arrested on a one way trip back to the Aktren Galaxy. It is one alien invasion gone right down the pan. The Doctor doesn’t think Klytode will bother Earth again. Bert and Jimmy are back to being executive waste engineers. The Doctor, in his spacesuit, goes into and leaves in the TARDIS.

The huge space luxury astroliner Tritanic cruises the outer reaches of the outer rim with the richest holidaymakers in the 59st century. Martha looks out a window on it to see the Kolox Nebula. They have lost the TARDIS. The Doctor has never counted himself very rich unless he’s counting friends or enemies. The Nebula is ravaged by time winds and a time machine would be its element. A green girl screams as a huge green but red eyed monster rams the ship and burns through the hull. Insect like Skrawn come in. The Doctor says these aliens are this galaxy’s nastier creatures: angry. The wasp like creatures are armed with lethal stings. One scratch means anaphylactic shock; a full sting means a long, painful death. Kolox, their home planet was destroyed in a war. All that’s left of it is a huge cloud of randomly charged discrete chronon articles…the Kolox nebula. The Skrawn attack the bridge but before they can sting the captain, the Doctor introduces himself and Martha. The Doctor rants about them making a terrible mistake, making an act of piracy, and that the Skrawn do get upset. He also calls the Nebula one of the wonders of the universe. A Skrawn knocks the Doctor down but the Doctor tells Martha he just saved the Captain’s life. The Skrawn begin to dismantle the Time nav system, which is supposed to help the ship navigate the time winds in the Nebula. It is purely experimental and the Doctor hoped to use it to find the TARDIS. The Skrawn rants that they will be reborn, reclaim their inheritance, and take their revenge! Can the Doctor stop the Skawn?

The Skrawn Hiveship pulls away from the Tritanic and people are sucked out into space. Since the aliens fused the computer controls when they disconnected the time nav, they can’t operate the emergency seals. The Doctor bypasses the control circuits and shuts the doors, seemingly saving all but three passengers. A teleport converts the Doctor and Martha into a data stream and sent them after the Skrawn via galactic hypernet. They are on the Skrawn ship. The walls are lined with control circuitry grown from a cellular electron amoeba. The Doctor finds the TARDIS, “You big blue lump.” He programmed the hypernet teleport to home in on it. The aliens used the time nav to find it. The Skrawn want revenge and will use the time nav and the TARDIS to get it. Their world was destroyed and made into the Kolox nebula during the time war, which the Doctor claims everyone got involved at some point. A Skrawn attacks them, rips the Doctor’s sleeve and then asks for him not to be harmed yet. Skrawn want the regeneration of their homeworld to begin. They will use the time navigator and TARDIS to make their homeworld be reborn from the ashes of the Nebula. The Doctor calls it a rubbish plan, they would need chronon particles and a colossal amount…as can be found in the Kolox Nebula. The Doctor calls it a good plan in fact. Martha recovers the sonic screwdriver and puts it into some controls and hopes for the best. The Doctor gets free and steals the time nav back. With the ship out of control, the pair high tail it back to the TARDIS and get in. The Skrawn swear to have revenge. The Doctor returns the time nav (which is useless now anyway) and tells the captain and other human there that the hive ship is flying blind and lost in the Kolox Nebula. The Skrawn may never find their way out, “Victims of the Time War twice over.” The Doctor does not feel much like a holiday now.

The Doctor tells Martha sometimes he’s glad the TARDIS does not blend into its environment. Imagine trying to grab a door handle shaped like a cactus spike. They have landed in a desert with an orange sky with some blue. They are on Maught, a world rich in natural resources but where water is rare and like gold is on Earth. The Doctor thought he was looking a bit pale and needed a top up his tan. He gives water to a poor old robot begging on the street with a sign. The town looks like the Old West with aliens and humanoids. A three eyed green alien sleeping on a wall, hears the Doctor tell Martha there is supposed to be an underground stream near the place they are at. He thinks it might just be a myth or legend. Lizard like insect being Angelo is shooting three guns about to get alien Blontt to talk. To get him to stop the Doctor juggles some diamonds. One ricochets the laser back toward Angelo, who gets away on a flying steed. Martha wants to get Blontt to a hospital but he tells her to remember the number 42. Then he dies. Angelo returns with some friends but the Doctor threatens to shoot him with water. Angelo says, “Go ahead, punk, make my day,” and the two friends open their mouths to collect water. A cow man (who was dressed like a maiden) named Tu helps Martha and the Doctor sneak off to her inn. As Martha prepares to sleep, she notices Angelo at the Inn. Martha goes to warn the Doctor, “Doctor, I think we’re in trouble!” She opens his door and finds Tu attacking the Doctor, having him hooked up to some machine, “Now my friend, we’ll find out what you really know!”

Martha attacks Tu and the electrode tickles Tu. Angelo bursts in and demands to know the North South coordinates. Blontt did something to the Doctor before he died. Tu has one part of the North South coordinates that lead to an underground stream. Angelo has the East West Coordinates. Blontt knew the depth. Angelo shot as Blontt because he heard Blontt was interested in private enterprise. They were supposed to be a team. The Doctor feels he’s gone six rounds with a Judoon bare knuckle boxer. Angelo tells Tu to pull the other one, it’s got teats on. He knows Tu has an army of workers ready to move out. He tells Tu they will settle this at high noon, centre of town. Their guns are set to stun and if Angelo wins he will use Tu’s machine to get the coordinates off HER. The gunfight drags on. Martha yells, “Oh, for heaven’s sake, get on with it!” Angelo turns at her and is grazed by a laser shot set to kill by either Tu or one of Tu’s men. In the resulting fight, Tus’ machine blows up…and the Doctor and Martha are also stunned. When they wake up, they are at the drill, the Doctor tied to it. Tu and Angelo have decided to team up after all. Tu’s numbers are 4.97 degrees South. Angelo’s are 2.14 East. The two threaten to kill Martha if the Doctor doesn’t tell them his numbers. He sonic screwdrivers himself from his bonds. He tells them 55.4 is his number. They drill and a huge amount of water comes out, they’ve drilled too deep. The Doctor wonders, “Or was it 42.2?” As Tu points a gun at the Doctor, water hits her and she goes flying. The Seismic tremor should alert the authorities. Martha says, “We’d better get back to the TARDIS.” She fancies a nice glass of cold water.

Egypt 2375 BC: Martha and the Doctor are on camel back arriving at the Great Pyramid of Cheops, or as the Doctor knew him, Pharaoh Khufu. The Doctor relates info about the tomb, the Egyptians, and other facts. The camels get spooked and the pyramid vanishes. The Doctor scans for temporal shock waves and then they ride back to the TARDIS. They follow the time track to the Temple of Diana at Ephesus but they are too late, the temple also vanishes. The temple is supposed to last until the Third Century AD and then fall into ruin. The Doctor scans for the right temporal vector and follows it to Greece 280 BC. Outside is a statue of Helios, the Colossus of Rhodes. It vanishes also. Someone is stealing the 7 Wonder of the Ancient World. Statue of Zeus at Olympia, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, and the Pharos Lighthouse at Alexandria also vanish. The TARDIS appears at the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Water was pumped up from the river Euphrates. King Nebuchadnezzar built this around 600 BC. He thinks they used Archimedean screws to get the water all the way up here. The Doctor tells Martha, as they sit down, that human love the number seven, “Seven seas, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Dwarfs, Blake’s Seven, Magnificent Seven, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, 7-Up…” A Talithan Swindler whispers to them to give them the whole set of 7 Wonders with a good offer. The Doctor pulls the alien out of the bushes. It is red with a purple robe and hood on. His name is Pholonius Ginn, dealer in antiquities and relics, registered with the galactic council. He shows them his card but the Doctor picks up that it is psychic paper. Buyers on the galactic hyper net are looking for Earth relics. He will sell to the highest bidder on G Bay. A giant robot like thing appears via transmit, warning them to stand aside as extra transmit energy can be hazardous to organic life forms. It says it is Sylven, representing the FatKat Corporation, here to purchase the planet Earth including the entire human population.

Together with Pholonius Ginn, the Doctor and Martha are transported to the place of origin for the buyer of planet Earth: the FatKat Corporation on a deep space station. Sylven tells them they can bid on Earth at the auction in an auction room. Bidding begins at 5 zillion galactons, an alien doing the auction. It is sold and includes every man, woman and child born during the humanian era. As the robot Sylven fires at them, the Doctor and Martha flee for the office of the managing director of FatKat, one Trongus Squum. The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver. The pair use the service duct. A figure in a chair tells someone on a cell phone to start selling all 17 Zern worlds off too. He is expecting confirmation of the sale of Earth at any moment. The Doctor tells the figure, Pholonius Ginn, that he knew it was him, spoiling Ginn’s big surprise moment. Squum went bankrupt and homeless so Ginn took over FatKat, managing it and trying to abuse the fiscal policies of a hundred different systems. Ginn needed money for gambling debts, the Doctor figures so he attracted attention to Earth and pretended to be bought out by the Fat Kat Corp. Everyone on Earth will be sold into slavery. Martha worries about her parents, Leo and Tish. The Doctor uses his glasses and reads the small print: the contract states that every human born in the humanian era but one is missing: Martha Jones. The robot claims the contract invalid and arrests Ginn. The FatKats are with him, two huge cat men. Squum is one of them and he tells the Doctor he’s been trying to bankrupt Ginn for months. As reward, the Doctor wants the contract torn up, the seven wonders sent back to history, and he and Martha returned to where they should be. The Doctor tells Martha is more than a technicality, to him, she’s officially the 8th wonder of the world.

The Doctor tells Martha he does not know where they are, the planet does not have a name, and books about places off the beaten path do not even list this planet. He suggests they call it Martha. The planet area they are at is a colorful park littered with trees, benches, paths, and bushes. The Doctor does not think he’s visited anywhere as devoid of life as this…and he says he’s been to Basingstoke on a Sunday. They find a purple humanoid shaped creature that is made of living metal and seems to be either dead or sleeping, like a machine that’s been switched off, dormant. Something red eyed watches them from a dark corner. The creature was born, not constructed, he tells Martha. It is not carbon based life though. Two more arrive and hold large cannon sized guns on them. The Doctor tells the pair that holding his hands up and waving one hand is considered a provocative gesture on Tuzeema, the people there have guns in the palm of their hands. The two seemingly female beings are soldiers Elphon and Halber. They say they are the last of their kind. Over decades their kind have fought in the Great War with rules, weapons can only stun not kill. A strange, giant mud like creature with giant cannons on its hands and holes on its bodies rolls at them on tractor like treads, firing. It hits one of the soldiers and puts her out, saying it has terminated one target. The next hit zaps the Doctor…

Halber is down so Elphon, the last of her kind, shoots the tank creature. The Doctor finds it, too, is in suspended animation. But this one is made up mostly of bone. Another tank creature cannot move as fast as it used to and feels age catches up with us all. The Doctor concurs. Elphon appears and is sick of the fighting. She will no longer fight by the rules and sets her weapon to kill the last of the tank creatures. The tank thing is a general and has seen enough conflict. He tells her to shoot him if she must. The Doctor tells them there is more to this war than meets the eye. He talks Elphon out of shooting. The war is over and the Doctor asks them to shake hands as a sign of peace. The contact transforms them. It was a battle of the sexes. On this world, the last male and the last female who survive the war are able to pass on their genetic material to the next generation. Everyone seems to wake up, all are unharmed. The war lasted so long they almost forgot the rules. Soon they will give birth. The Doctor says, “We’ll pop back in 9 months, I’m sure Martha would love to be the midwife.” Martha hopes they will not start fighting again. She gets enough of that in hospital on a Saturday night.

In Liverpool 1963, the Doctor has taken Martha to watch the Beatles who are just starting out, even though he tells her he’s more of a stones fan, the Living Stones of Thurakzima 7, silicon life forms. The Doctor hates spoilers, thinks that life would be no fun if you knew the future all the time. Something is bombing the area with positively charged ions. Using the sonic screwdriver, the Doctor deduces someone is using a biometric matter transfusion field, used for instellar teleportation. The field contracts and makes Martha vanish. The Doctor dashes to the TARDIS hoping to track her via the disruptions in space-time since it is a long range beam. He intercepts the beam and gets Martha back into the TARDIS. The beam came from Gelezen, a planet from which no one ever returns. Thousands of years ago the Gelezen adopted an isolationist police and the planet is surrounded by a time field. What is known about them is a very few facts and rumor. The race there seem to be a clone race, some people say they used human DNA as a template for their entire species. They forcibly extract the deoxyribonucleic acids from humans and transfused them into their own clones. They are DNA vampires. The TARDIS shields are overridden, the beam breaks through and Martha vanishes again!

Clone surgeons of Gelezen have used a long range teleport beam to snatch Martha from the TARDIS. Martha wonders if where she is is Halloween in Holby City. Dr Skelpa introduces himself. He tells her his race is dying after centuries of living in isolation, cut off by a time field. Dr Skelpa claims to know the Doctor. Martha fights off the aliens. The Doctor has tried temporal feedback, space time side step, emergency stop…but the TARDIS cannot get through the time field. Martha grabs a chair and smashes it into the ancient time field machine. The TARDIS appears and the Doctor exits, joking about how he has always told Martha about going on ahead of him and how the aliens look like a sorry bunch with the genetic blues. The Doctor tells Skelpa that the title of Doctor has to be earned, as a good friend of his once told him. He warns that if they have harmed Martha in any way there will be reprisals. A well pitched sonic pulse could shatter every instrument. Skelpa tells him their genetic template is in a state of decay. Martha’s DNA will allow them to live forever…because she is a time traveler. Martha tells Skelpa the Doctor does not do revenge, he will help them. The Doctor will help. Every time the aliens use the teleport beam in time, it causes havoc in the time vortex (and Martha’s stomach). Human DNA is not made to withstand constant re cloning inside a time field. The Doctor uses his own DNA: it is intelligent and adaptable. It can replicate the human gene matrix as a self regenerating DNA in the aliens’ machine. The Doctor experiences some pain and hopes he will get a cup of tea for this. The Doctor tells them if they didn’t live in self imposed isolation, they could have had this a long time ago. The aliens will no longer need to have constant gene replenishment. In the TARDIS, the Doctor tells Martha that sometimes it is the monsters that need saving.

Present day on the Seamancer, a fishing trawler out of Portsmouth is in the worst storm. Martha is getting seasick as Captain Ketley uses sarcasm and also thinks the Doctor insane for enjoying the ride outside the cabin. Ketley also seems to know the Doctor and Martha are travelers in time and space. Below deck is the TARDIS, which Martha wants the Doctor to get a move on and fix. The Doctor claims he’s a time lord and can take a clock out, just like the TARDIS Martha adds. The dematerlialisation field is fluctuating badly and need recalibrating and if not fixed soon, it might cut in without warning. The TARDIS is very old, he tells Martha as they go into the TARDIS. As the storm gets worse, shaking both ship and TARDIS, the Doctor exits to see if he can help but it is too late. The ship loses the rudder and hits rocks. Everyone abandons ship and it sinks. The Doctor thinks they should looks for survivors as they cling to rocks but eventually find an island. Ketley tells them according to charts, there were no islands within a 100 miles of the Seamancer. The boson tells them everyone made it to the island and is accounted for. The muscled cook is nervous about surviving on this godforsaken island. The Doctor looks at the boson’s compass: the needle is trying to point straight down and is stuck: which means they are on top of a magnetic pole. The Cook knocks the compass down and blames having a woman on board for their bad luck. As Martha yells at him, the Doctor tells them to be quiet and listen. The Doctor reveals volcanic rock, which should not be near the Atlantic or the North Pole, which they shouldn’t be near anyway. The sky is clear and the storm is gone, and the sky shows stars including Rigel Four, the Gogol Nebula and where Metulla Orionsis used to be (where Traken used to be). Somehow they have been transported to another planet. The Doctor figures when the squall hit, the TARDIS materialization field must have cut in and it transported them over 420,000 light years across the galaxy. Creatures with big teeth in larger mouths and big octopus like heads arrive. They have dangling tentacles, some holding what look like spears. The lead one says, “This is the oceanworld of Surobos.” It calls them alien intruders and that by the ancient lore of the Suroban shoal they are condemned to death…

The Doctor and Martha along with the crew of the Seamancer have been transported 420000 light years from Earth to the planet Surobos. Martha comes to the Doctor’s defense when he’s downed, pinned under alien spears without being killed…yet. Martha explains she has the gift of the TARDIS to speak their language. Captain Ketley introduces himself, his navigator Mr. Rourke and the ship’s cook. The King-Queen of the alien Suroban is Alalal, King Queen of the Long Dark Shoal of the Suroban. It is a title. When Alalal, who refuses the Doctor’s request to call him/her Al, is told by the Doctor why they are here, he/she tells the Doctor he talks too much. Martha tries to explain and is deemed to be too much of a talker also. Alalal thinks it is a curse of their species. Since Alalal sees some intelligence, he/she grants a stay of execution until the three moons go down. If they are still on the planet by that time they will be killed. The Doctor says, “Great, fine, whatever. Can I please get up now?” The Captain makes the Doctor the leader of the expedition. Jalkis, another alien, asks Alalal if they can help the humans and is refused. Martha tries to calm the cook down. Cook blames the Doctor for all of this. The Doctor tells Martha to ignore him, Cook is afraid and can only express himself the way he knows: through aggression. The Doctor locates the position of the shipwrecked Seamancer…and is about to swim to it to recover the TARDIS when Jalkis comes to help him. The Suroban are at home under the waves as above. The water are infested with carnivorous Skilus eels. He tells them not to let Alalal know he is helping them. Jalkis distracts the eels while the Doctor swims to the ship and into the TARDIS with Jalkis, but Jalkis is wounded by an eel. Cook has gone to Alalal and blabbed about what Jalkis has done. Alalal confronts Martha and the others and is about to execute them then and there when the TARDIS appears. The Doctor talks Alalal into letting them help Jalkis. Martha stitches the wounds. The Doctor counts Jalkis as one of them. Alalal tells Martha that no Suroban would have done the same for her. The Doctor thinks Jalkis would have. He also says to Alalal to make sure he treats Jalkis as a hero, not a traitor. Alalal promises to do that if the human leave Surobus forever. Using the TARDIS, the Doctor fires a gravity beam to lift the Seamancer from the ocean bottom. It was a few fathoms down. He then reverses the materialisation field to send the Seamancer home. He also arranged for a localised time reversal to repair the hull. He likes to leave things as he found them, if not better. Jalkis recovers.

The TARDIS appears on an icy planet. The Doctor thought after Surobus they needed to chill out a bit. Outside the ship, Martha slips on melting ice and falls right off a cliff. A flying green Pterodactyl like creature flies past her and a blue/purple hulking alien with long green hair named Paltoq saves her. He thinks her skin is burned. He lands Martha to the Doctor and from a cliff side they view his home, a castle called Isqaron. He tells them his home is dying, melting. The Sky God of Asharoth decreed they are all sinners and should fall beneath the waves. Empress Thamli says they have angered the Sky God, a huge flaming object in the sky. The trio fly toward her domain and see spearmen. Inside, when all hail Thamli, the Doctor jokes about sleet. Paltoq tells the Empress he thought they were either slaves or messengers of the Sky God. The Empress does not care for the Doctor’s manner. She orders Paltoq to return them to the Sky God, that they must be escaped slaves. Being forced by big blue hulking guards, the Doctor, Paltoq and Martha are lead toward the now red flaming object, which the Doctor thinks is some sort of energy field like a dimensional gateway. As they near the hole, it smells bad. As the guard throws the Doctor into it, he calls him little, not the first alien here to do that. The Doctor thinks he could get quite a complex if they continue calling him little. He, Martha and Paltoq are to be thrown into the gateway. Martha watches as the Doctor is thrown in first..suddenly the Doctor is somewhere else. He sees a man with gray hair and glasses in a white lab coat standing over machinery. A woman is also there and she is in a white lab coat. There is some kind of strange machine reaching up like a giant gate. The Doctor asks what they are doing. The man says, “We’re saving the Earth.” The Doctor says, “But that’s my job!”

The Doctor thinks the scientists are using Isqar to make a giant air conditioner for Earth. Paltoq throws himself at the rider that has Martha, knocks him off and lands on an ice wave. Martha’s lost the TARDIS key. Locked up in a cell between two trees, the Doctor protests but Professor Kate Curran introduces herself from outside. Mallingane told the others the planet was uninhabited and said he had done a survey. He’s being paid to come up with a solution to global warming. For 12 hours a day, the gateway pumps hot air…polluted air the Doctor adds…to the ice world. For another 12, it sucks cold air back to Earth. The Doctor asks Kate to get him out of there. Martha grabs Paltoq’s sword and chops off a tentacle that rises from the cold sea. Her bum is going numb with cold. More tentacles surround the ice floe they are on. Kate lets the Doctor out and distracts Prof. Mallingane with a story about the homeostasis controls having problems. The Doctor uses his tie, tied to the levers, to make the device blow hot and suck cold at the same time. This seems to destroy the device. The Doctor tells the Prof that they have to find their own solutions, not dump their problems on the Isqarites. Large guards in green suits grab the Doctor. Martha was looking forward to a slow death…another 70 years slow. From a light in the sky, the Doctor drops in, hanging from a ladder attached to a helicopter that Kate is flying. He rescues Martha and Paltoq just as more tentacles attack the ice they were on. They fly off on the ladder and Kate drops them off by the blue box (TARDIS) and leaves, with only seconds before the gateway closes. The Doctor wiped Isqar’s coordinates from Mallingane’s device. The Doctor figures Paltoq will be a hero to his people and the world here will renew itself in a few months. Martha tells the Doctor that was cool.

The TARDIS lands on the top of a rubbish tip on a rubbish planet, the planet Zetheda in the year 3,474,691 slash Kanga Bartholomew, the whole world is buried in rubbish from nearby planets. The TARDIS detected an inexplicable power source nearby and the Doctor’s curious. The Doctor tells Martha in the old days this planet was beautiful. A giant purple worm like monster rises up from the garbage, knocking them off it. Martha falls through a hole and faces the Ratlings. The king greets her as Elizar, their king. He tells her she is welcome on it and that the hole is there to trap the Worgoth. She worries about the Doctor but his guards caught him in the Holy Chamber of Refuse, the punishment for that is recycling. Martha worries but the Doctor tells her it is a mandatory jumble sale. He’s given away his coat to get this far. The Great Orb of Refuse is an interstellar distress beacon, all that remains of a crashed spaceship, here for close to ten thousand years and functional. The Doctor commends Earth technology on that matter. The Ratlings, the Doctor guesses, have evolved from humans, living in the trash. The Doctor thinks the distress beacon has been activated and that someone has picked up the signal and responded, and is now sending a homing beacon. When Martha asks if this was the source the TARDIS detected, the Doctor believes not. It is not powerful enough. A giant saucer shaped spaceship with a fin hovers over the skies and is seen by the Ratlings. Martha is impressed, “Now that’s what I call a spaceship!” The Doctor recognizes gravity repulse landing beams. The Optimi land. Vlar is one of them in the landing party and she/he wears a crown. They were looking for the paradise planet Zetheda, what they think will be an Eden. The Ratlings welcome them. The Doctor wonders if they found the correct planet Zetheda. Vlar yells, “The Optimi claim this world, colonization will begin in due course. But first, the waste will have to be cleared..and the vermin eradicated. Destroy the Ratlings! Destroy them immediately!” The Optimi bodies start to glow as they power up!

The Doctor tries to explain to Vlar about the Ratlings. A Worgoth attacks. The subsidence caused by the Worgoth causes Martha, Vlar, the Doctor, and Elizar to fall down a hole in the ground. The planet's surface must be a honeycomb of caves and tunnels. They discover an annex to the distress beacon, what looks like a computer station. When the Doctor tries to find out how the station is working, Elizar uses his cane to push him away. It is a sacred chamber even though as Martha points out, they only just discovered it a minute ago. Vlar recognizes the equipement his ancestors probably left here when terraforming. The Doctor figures the Optimi are the future of the human race, or at least part of it. They evolved after thousands of years of space travel into something a bit different. The Ratlings evolved from humans on this planet. The two races share the same ancestors. The terraforming device was used by humans in the old days to change planets to be more like Earth sometimes completely altering an entire world's environment. Using a DNA recognition code that will only respond to a human hand print---such as Martha's---Martha opens a door. The group enter a huge paradise world within, a green land with waterfalls, blue skies, and mountains. The terraforming device must have been activated inside the planet and it even has its own sun. That is the strange power source the TARDIS detected. An artificially generated solar dot. Somehow, the colonists were locked out. Vlar lives below, leading his people there first. The Ratlings will live on the surface. Elizar gives Martha an old coat as a souvenir of her visit to Zetheda. Vlar thanks the Doctor, who warns them all to watch out for those Worgoths.  

On Earth in the year 3738 London still exists as Martha and the Doctor shop. Martha loves Christmas. The Doctor is talking about how the human race re-engineered the Earth’s climate twice since the 21st century and he complains they still can’t get it to snow on Christmas. Martha points out shop window dummies in Santa outfits but they make the Doctor nervous. Martha finds a vase for her mum, it recycles water. He tells her to forget a computer game for her brother Leo because it has more computing power than NASA, the Pentagon and ILM together. She asks about a necklace for Tish. He’d rather face a Cyberman invasion than do more shopping. Bert bumps into him and Jimmy is there also. The Doctor introduces them to Martha; Bert has had a French language download but the creepy twit sub routine was an optional extra Jimmy tells her, jokingly. Bert secretly tells the Doctor he thinks Jimmy is cracking up. The four go to Jimmy and Bert’s apartment. The pair have their own business now: giving sanitation to government facilities. When they won the contract to install sanitary facilities at the Ecopower Station franchise, Jimmy started to wander around, have blackouts, dizzy spells, and this is not like him. Jimmy was always the cautious one. Last week, he found his way to the reactor control room. Jimmy prepares tea for them but only has digestive biscuits. Bert mistook the Hobnobs for burnt out data wafers and threw them in the incinerator. The Doctor whispers to Martha while Jimmy and Bert have a light hearted argument. He thinks Jimmy is under telekinetic mind control. The next morning, Martha and the Doctor follow Jimmy with Bert coming along. The Doctor fixes the security rating on Bert’s robo scan card using his sonic screwdriver. This allows them to all areas. They follow Jimmy up stairs past signs that warn visitors they will be prosecuted. Jimmy goes to the bio reactor room. Inside, they see the Klytode, a gestalt creature that wants to turn the Earth into a toxic wasteland. The Doc sent it packing years ago, all the way back to the Aktren galaxy. Robot guards helped release it from its prison. It controlled Jimmy. It also brought reinforcements. Outside, the Prime Klytode, a huge mouth, plant like monster flying about. It is the gestalt brain that controls the Brethren, waiting in hyper space to materialize over the power station. It is the size of a city and spews out clouds of toxic gas and has many orange eyes. From this spot, the Klytode can control every power station on Earth and using Jimmy, it can also connect every bio reactor around the planet to relay Prime Klytode’s poisonous breath all over the world. The Doctor doesn’t know how to stop it. The Klytode tells them it is too late and the Prime is already putting out its fumes. “SO look out, Earth, here comes the scum!”

Christmas in the 38th century: the Doctor tries to reason with the Klytode as the Prime Klytode begins changing the Earth with toxins. The Doctor tells it that there are other planets---worlds where the sea is made of acid and the air is thick with deadly toxins. He will take them to a type of world like that. The Klytode wants Earth. While the Klytode is busy with the reactor, the Doctor has a plan: with a few spare minutes, he can reverse the hyper spatial link and send the Prime Klytode back to where it came from. The Doctor can use the bio reactor’s bio core to do this. Bert tells him to use his omnitronic brain to act as a computer interface…when the Doctor comes up short for a wire computer interface. The feedback from the reactor could fry every last circuit in Bert’s brain. Martha has saved Jimmy, who tells her he’s made mistakes and fallen out with Bert and in the end, Jimmy claims to have just given up. As the two return to help, the robot guardians grab them up. Martha pressed a button on a emergency reactor screen manual release. The safety screen is a transparanium curtain designed to separate the reactor room from the rest of the station in case of meltdown. Here, it bisects the robots. On the other side of the screen, as the Doctor works, Bert and the Doctor explain what they are doing. Jimmy cries as Bert explains. He has to make the sacrifice to save Earth and Jimmy. Martha draws the Doctor’s attention to the fallen half of one of the robot guardian computer brains. The Doctor calls that brilliant and perfect, shoves Bert out of the way, and with seconds left, reverses the power linkages…the hyper space tunnel in reverse pulls the Prime Klytode back to nowhere. The Klytode tries to use Jimmy again, telepathically ordered him to destroy the reactor into meltdown. Jimmy resists, knowing what is important to him: his world, his friends, and Bert. On emergency teleport, the Klytode vanishes but first warns the Doctor, “You may think you’ve won again, Doc-tor---but I’ll be back one day. Keep looking over your shoulder—you’ll never know when or where I’ll come for you!” Later, the Doctor stays for Christmas Dinner. Bert doesn’t appreciate a good roast potato but he does appreciate good friends. Martha toasts, “So Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!” The Doctor adds, “…and peace on Earth!”

Earth, England, tonight…33 Venture Drive, home of the Hopely family…John and Melissa with daughter Violet. She will be ten next week. Her mum asks her to fetch the magazine with Johnny Depp on the cover. Violet asks how to spell utopia. Violet is afraid to go upstairs because of the monster. As her parents chide her about watching too much telly, she goes up the steps. The Doctor knocks on the door and barges in as it’s opened. He runs upstairs, he’s been tracking the energy signature of a rogue Extron parasite. At the top of the steps, the Doctor meets Violet and the creature…which claims it needs a clear transference field…meaning it is trying to lock onto the girl’s human energy pattern. It wants to achieve full gene transmutation. The parents come upstairs and meet it. The mother apologizes to Violet. The thing is an alien parasite that transmutates to survive, combining with intelligent living mammals…in this case Violet. It usually tries an infant. It has been trying to break through for some time in this place. This one is an escaped prisoner on the run from the galactic penal institute of Inkarsera. Originally, it is from another galaxy. The thing asks the Doctor where his biometric tag is, claiming the Doctor does not have the right to take it back. John pushes the Doctor out of the way of the thing but it grabs up Violet, vanishes, teleporting away…and the Doctor has no idea where it and Violet have gone too…

In a ruined city on the far side of the galaxy beneath a radioactive sky, Violet Hopely, who has been taken by an alien Extron, argues with the alien criminal. No one has been here for decades. The planet is called Onla-toch, in the 957 Dogron star system. The Extron cannot take her home because it needs to regain strength. This planet was once the cradle of civilisation in this area, once an intellectual and artistic paradise until the Extron came to it. He was caught by the Judoon who cannot have executed him. He was sentenced to eternal imprisonment. Violet flees and looks for a place to hide. The Doctor starts talking to himself, the parents think he’s mad. He runs back to the TARDIS, telling them to put the kettle on. He figures the Extron was once on Inkarsera, an automated space prison. He is backtracking to find out where the Extron, a natural teleporter could have taken Violet. Using his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor finds out via the internment records. A robot clamps bio metric handcuffs on the Doctor, believing him to be an escaped prisoner. He is taken to detention stasis, the Doctor believing this is worse than school. The Doctor immediately uses his sonic screwdriver to release the cuffs, kicks the robot, which tells him he has a further ten years added to his sentence. The Doctor tells it he does not have time for a twenty stretch but thanks for the cuffs. More of the four armed robots come at him but he has to dash he tells them. On the planet, the Extron has attuned Violet’s biomass and he must transmute. He looks for her. She hides in a huge, green building and kicks rubbish out onto it. It does not even hurt it. It will use her form to feed his transmutation and then he will devour her. Her atom structure will painfully be unraveled and woven into a new form. The sound of VWORP VWORP happens as the TARDIS appears. As the Doctor rushes out, apologizing to Violet for taking so long, the Extron asks, “What in the black star of Stungaar…” The Doctor and it fight. The Doctor drops the biometric cuffs but Violet manages to get the biometric cuffs onto the beast and the cuffs take him back to prison. The Extron gets a full existence sentence by the robot wards. Violet is reunited with her parents. Violet says, “I’ll never be scared to go upstairs again, now that I Know the Doctor is out there. He’s looking after us all.” Her dad says, “Overactive imagination…that’s what I say.” The Doctor heads back to the TARDIS.

The Doctor thinks it is important to brush up on his alien languages even though the TARDIS has a universal translator. He reads a book called You Want To Speak Clang’n. Others sit beside him: Kavese, the Easy Way and Conversational Clangon. The collision avoidance compensators fail again and the TARDIS hits an interstellar body with a planetary mass, atmosphere in the middle of a major galactic bypass. The floor is squishy and it seems made of paper mache. It is comprised of vegetable fibers bonded with hydrogen and wood pulp. He finds a ship that had a crew that managed to eject in time. He finds a warning beacon and a paper that is handed out at spaceports: the Daily Eon…all the discarded copies end up here. A green bunny man asks for help from a digital ink on one of the pages of the sports section. The Doctor tells the bunny that his hobby is printing and that he gave the Chinese a few pointers on moveable blocks, way back during the Tang Dynasty. The bunny is Ray Royce, Hoopball Superstar and head sports writer at the Eon. He’s trapped in the New Factory. Hundreds of writers didn’t read the small print on their contracts and now they are being held and forced to work on staff. The Doctor has a few issues with the Daily Eon himself. The Doctor will find the address on the Letters to the Editor page. Soon the TARDIS arrives, Ray telling the Doctor to unfold him so he can see his way around. The Doctor finds crystalline memory that can store the neural matrices of a million sentient life forms, people, civilizations, or disgruntled journalists. The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to try to stop the machine but a metal claw comes out of a wall and knocks him off a ledge toward giant rollers of a Robo Copier. They detect the Doctor and figure he has over 900 years of stories to tell. If scanned, the Doctor will end up trapped, too. The Doctor ask the flying attacking machines to take him to their Editor. They scan him and digitise…

The Doctor has disrupted the Robcopier’s filing system to send him to the sports page and he meets Ray in person. Ray’s a very tall green rabbit-man in a football jersey that is short cut. Each journalist has their own private virtual universe, generated from their memories. Ray is forced to replay his most famous victories and defeats over and over, then the Matrix converts that data directly into the column inches for newspaper. The Doctor tells Ray if they used the Doctor’s stories, they would have to publish a whole colour supplement every single week with a free gift. SubEds exist to root out bad spelling mistakes, bad grammar, and erroneous copies. The Doctor calls himself the biggest grammatical error they’re ever going to see. Ray uses his team (a blue female with tentacles out her head; a purple-pink man with three pink fingers; and a blue elephant like being) to distract and block for the Doctor and he to get away from the Sub Eds. The Doctor tries to locate a crystal node to resonate and open a portal to another page. Ray has tickets, guest passes to the opening of the Envelope, hottest new nightclub in the galaxy. High fiving each other, the pair go to this nightclub area. Green wife of Ray’s—named Boudica---wants to maintain her WAG status and has to have pictures taken with Ray. She doesn’t want bad pictures though and this makes Ray think eternal enslavement might not be so bad. She likes the Doctor. The SubEds catch up to them, they drag Boudica with them; a blast from the SubEds knocks Ray through the air. The Doctor cannot open the next portal by finding the frequency because it is a deadlock seal. Ray jumps at the opening and then jumps out of the way, causing the SubEds to go through it. Inside, a big green slug is the Proprietor. Ray resigns. The SubEds crashing in, disrupted the fabric of the Crystalline Matrix and caused a massive neural feedback loop. The slug tells the Doctor people need gossip but the Doctor tells him the people just look at the pictures between hyperspace jumps to kill time. The Doctor suggests the slug get into recycling: there are an awful lot of discarded copies of Eon out there. He also suggests to Ray’s wife that the vidcast chat shows are running short on showbiz couples in the Ell-Ay Galaxy and perhaps she and Ray can go there.

The TARDIS appears in an enclosed cave with super heated water underground. Flying alien creatures with red eyes and fangs come at him. The sonic screwdriver doesn’t help. The Doctor switches it off and the things lose interest in him. A hooded being named Kaze calls him to safety. He is blue haired and purple faced. He tells the Doctor the monsters are called Shrikes, they love energy sources and advanced technology. Kaze was playing in the fields and saw them go into the caves. The aliens here rely on wind energy and thermal power including wind mills. At an enclosed fort wall, Kaze shows the Doctor his people. They used to have a more advanced technology. A chubby alien is in a pool with friends. The leader Genji (who is on stilts at first and had a gray withered face) lives with elite warriors in the Halls of Sacrifice. Inside the colorful hall, the leader tells the Doctor tonight they celebrate the Ceremony of Choosing. Once a year the best, fittest are chosen to be warriors to stay in the halls for months, even years until their training is complete and then they will defend the people against the Shrikes. When the Shrikes become very hungry for energy they feed on animals and children. A couple of years ago, Kaze found his grandfather in the hills…he had been sucked dry. The Doctor tells him he is sorry and puts a hand on his shoulder. Kaze wants to be chosen to be a warrior. Genji tells the Doctor they are peaceful people and that the sacrifice is a quiet life with their family is given up to train with him. Kaze cries as he is not chosen to be a warrior. The Doctor follows Kaze and a group of youngers who have not been chosen to be warriors...and who are not returning to their village. Kaze warns him away. In the caverns beyond the castle/fortress, warrior men push five who have not been chosen toward a hot lake far below. The Doctor and Kaze are thrown off next…

he Doctor and Kaze (who has three fingers on each hand) fall through an anti gravity chute and are welcomed a starship, a world builder class as the Doctor recognizes. It has thermal shielding and force field tech to keep a sun at bay. Decades ago, the aliens came to this planet in peace and found only the Shrikes. Damaged by the Shrikes the ship crashed in the boiling water. Genji explains this to them. There is not enough room for all his people on the ship so Genji trains warriors to look after his people in the village. The Shrikes are not mindless, thus the deception by Genji. The sacrificed ones become his scientists. The heat keeps the Shrikes away from the ship. The force fields have taken up the energy so that the ship cannot take off. The Doctor reckons he can fix that up, “Me and machines, we’re like this,” he says as he crosses his fingers. He will need the TARDIS and he doesn’t know where it is, plus it is covered by Shrikes. The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver to wake up some Shrikes which want the energy flowing through the TARDIS. The Doctor sees it but needs a diversion so he tosses the sonic screwdriver to Kaze, giving the young boy a chance to be a warrior. Genji tells him, “You must learn when to….run!” The pair runs as a horde of Shrikes, coming off the TARDIS, attack. The Doctor makes it through a group of Shrike, enters the TARDIS, and appears on the starship with a large thick wire. Kaze has turned off the sonic screwdriver but the Shrikes are still racing after him and Genji. The starship blasts off. Just as the Shrike are just about on Genji and Kaze, the TARDIS appears, the door opens, and the Doctor grabs them both inside it. The Doctor will take all the people from the village to the starship. Genji worries about how the Shrikes will survive. The Doctor tells him he’s thought of that, too. He will get the TARDIS to eject a couple of rooms full of junk, old hardware and technology that even he’s forgotten about. That will give the Shrikes enough energy.